My Henna Tattoo

Kristina did my henna tattoo - it's awesome! I may never grow hair again, this is just so cool. I'll be able to remove the paste before I go to bed tonight and it will start out orange and then turn brown within a couple of days. This was just so much fun, better than going for a haircut :-). Let me know what you think about it.  Here's a link to Kristina's website http://www.henname.net/   I'm thinking about learning how to do this and when I get home if there are other women going through chemo who want a henna tattoo instead of wigs or hats, I can do tattoos for them. Sort of my way of giving back! So if any of you know someone who's interested, let me know!

Today is a great day, it's probably in the 20s, not really sure, but it's sunny, dry and not windy so it's just a real crisp, refreshing day! This is just turning out to be a fabulous day for me. I'm going to make my daily excursion over to Dave's Market - this time I actually do need something, organic cranberry juice. I think I'll get a lemon, as well, there's no need to remove the henna paste with organic lemon juice!

Had a great time yesterday roamed around the mall and then went to Whole Foods for dinner. We had a good time. I'm starting to get tired, I got up early and stayed up because I was excited about my tattoo! There's another storm system moving across the country, but I'm not sure if it's supposed to effect us - it's difficult to tell from thos maps they have on the weather channel. I think even if it does effect us, it should have moved through by Friday, so he shouldn't have a problem driving in from Detroit. I'm preparing myself, I have no intention of getting sick again when I have someone visiting from out of town! That was a total drag, getting sick every time some came to visit! I'm not sure what exactly that was all about! I'm sure it served some purpose on some level.

I found out about transportation to the Gathering Place - they can provide it once a week, so I think I'll go to the support group held on Tuesday evenings. I think I'll get the most out of that. I just have to make sure they provide a ride in the evenings, but Betsy didn't say anything about them not doing that. Therefore, I'll assume it's covered, unless I hear else wise!

Well, I think I'll say caio and head out - i get these random thoughts hopefully this will not continue happening, otherwise I'm going to have to go by the Apple Store and that can be
dangerous! OK good bye, I'll talk to you. Later.

What a Great Saturday

How do you like my new look? This is GI Val! Can't wear it outside, because it's too cold, but I'll be able to in Florida :-)

I had a great day today, went to "The Gathering Place"  I guess it's like a community center for people with cancer.  I met some really wonderful people and just had a real nice time. 

The weather was not to good this morning, it was snowing and the raods were slippery in places, but by this afternoon, everything was fine.  There's some kind of program on the weather channel, but I'll turn it back on in a little while and see what tomorrow is supposed to be like.  I might take the bus down to the shopping center by Whole Foods.  I don't really care about going shopping, but there isn't too much else to do that's inside and easy to get to.  I have to find an alternate method to get to the Gathering Place, because I could enjoy spending the day there several times a week, but it's rather far away, so the cab fare is prohibitive.  But I've no doubt I'll find another way there.  It's nice being able to hang out with people that have either gone through the same sort of things or are going through them now.  That's the funny (strange) thing about cancer, it makes a lot of people really uncomfortable, they don't know what to say so it makes for a rather awkward situation or they just avoid you altogether!  I was hoping that was the sort of environment the Gathering Place would provide, but it surpassed my greatest hopes.  I just can't wait to go back there.  Well, I think I'm going to sign off now, it's almost my bedtime (8:30 PM)!  So sweet dreams everyone and I'll speak with you tomorrow!  Good night.

Plan B

OK, I didn't post a picture of my henna tattoo, because you can't really see it.  I'm not sure what exactly we did wrong, but it mostly washed off with just a very faint image left.  So I was working on plan B - wasn't exactly sure what plan B was going to be, but I had a couple of ideas bouncing around and then the phone rings - it's the librarian from The Gathering Place - she found the woman who does the henna tattoos, she's still doing them and she gave me her phone number and email address - I have an appointment for Monday at 11 AM!  Here again, everything is falling into place.  God is obviously cool with my tattoo idea!  I think it's great beacause when women see me with it, it gives them another option.  We don't have to wear a wig and try to pretend we're the same as everyone else, we can embrace the hand we've been dealt and play it!  It's actually rather empowering when you shave your head and just throw all the worries and concerns of "what do I look like" to the wind.  It sort of takes us back to the essence of who we are, minus all the I have to do this and look like this stuff we've become so accustomed to.  This really is such an amazing learning experience - I would like you all to be able to experience it, but not to have to do it through cancer!  Let's find you a little bit easier way :-)!

Looks like a pretty nice day out, I thinki it's in the 20's and there's just the lightest of snow flying around, so I'm going to take a walk over to Dave's Market and maybe stop and grab a bite at the bagel shop on the way!  I really feel so fortunate and grateful - I can only hope that I find a way to give some of the blessings that I'm receiving to other people with cancer.  It's all in how you look at it, I really believe that.  Of course, I can't begin to say enough about the Theta Healing - I wouldn't have made it this far in the headspace that I'm in without the Theta Healing.  Once I move a little further into my treatment and things are a bit more settled, or at least on a pretty steady schedule, I want to take the training, I think it will not only be great for me, but I can help other people also.  I've always felt like God had some sort of purpose for me, I just wasn't sure what it was, somehow, this is it, I just have to listen quietly and watch for the signs to know exactly what he wants me to do, but I know in my heart that it's very strongly connected with this whole experience.  That's one of the things that makes this all worthwhile - if you can live your life to help other people and in some small way make the world a better or at least brighter place - then no matter what you go through or what happens, it's all good! 

Well, I think I'm going to head off to Dave's Market, if I go mid-day, it's the warmest :-)  Talk to you all soon, have a fabulous day!

Chemo Brain

Wow, I learned a lot last night, seems there's something called chemo brain - and I've got it! Which is OK, I feel so much better that the memory loss and things I'm experiencing are chemo brain (because they sound just like the rest of you are talking about) rather than being problems from the brain lesions or gamma knife treatment! I hadn't even heard of chemo brain until I was exploring the chemochicks.com website. There's some great stuff there.

I can't wait to get home and start reading my book, "Your brain after Chemo" it's really rather interesting you don't hear much about this, but after I started checking seems like there are a bunch of books and such about it. I'm thinking when I go to the Gathering Place on Saturday it should also prove informative because I'll be around people who have already gone through the same things. I'll learn from their experiences instead of having to reinvent the wheel myself!

This afternoon, I got my henna tattoo, I have to wait as long as possible before I rinse it off so it will stain well. I'll do it just before I go to bed. It looks cool, but the stencil lines are still there (they wash off) so I won't get the full effect until I wash it off! It's pretty exciting, at least to me, this would be a great afternoon activity, I might talk to them about it at the Gathering Place. We could do each other, it isn't difficult, it's just you can't do your own head! I'll take a picture and post it when I wash the henna paste off!

I'm still sitting in the lobby of the main building at the clinic, it's nice, a lot of peole around and it gets me out of my apartment! I'll probably head home in a little while. It seems lie it's so late, but it isn't even 7:00 PM - I guess just because it's dark, I don't know! Well, I think I'm going to sign off and head home, I'll post a picture later, so you can see how it looks! Then I'll do some more exploring online and reading my book. That way I'll have more info for you guys tomorrow! It's really interesting learning all this. It's even better being able to share it with people. Well, good. Night everyone I'll talk to you tomorrow!

A New Perspective

I'm feeling much more positive and in part it's because I'm getting back to viewing life with gratitude, it makes a world of difference. When I'm grateful it can make the seemingly worst senario quite beautiful. I think in being sick and all, I started to lose that and Was edging over towards feeling sorry for myself and that's someplace I don't want to go! So I'm not going too :-)

I believe I may be developing more patience or maybe it's just a different outlook, but when I was in the bagel shop there were a couple women with little kids sitting next to me - in the past I often tended to get a bit annoyed with the noise and chatter. This time I found them fascinating - they were having such a great time, even taking the tray over to the trash can to empty it was obviously a fun experience for them. It was refreshing to watch, but it was also quite interesting, a lot can be learned from little kids. They aren't worried about what's happening tomorrow or next week, they're just enjoying the moment. They also find pleasure in whatever they're doing, emptying the trash or whatever. I'm trying to learn from this and trying to be more like them. Kids can be great teachers, we all knew what was important when we were kids then in the process of growing up society took all that away - so now we need to relearn everything!

Cats are great teachers as well, in fact, they are often referred to as zen masters. I could learn a lot from my cats. They don't seem to get flustered about things or worry they just chill and go with the flow. There's a tremendous amount to be said for staying in the moment. That's my current goal to stay in the moment and I'm having some success at it. This is something that eluded me in the past, but I'm becoming more comfortable with it. As long as I'm progressing that's all that matters! It's the same thing with my health, I'm following my schedule and doing my part and I feel great, so I take that as positive! Life is good as they say and I can't ask for anything more than that! That's plenty! Well, I'm going to sign off now, so have a great afternoon and stay warm!


Cats are great teachers as well, in fact they're often referred to as zen masters.

Snow,snow everywhere

We've had some cold weather and snow but nothing too bad when I look at what's happening in other parts of the country. It makes me grateful! This goes to prove everything is relative - it's in the low 20's today and it seems like a balmy day, rather temperate! A few months ago I would never have believed I could have felt this way! :-) Life's full of surprises, that's what keeps it so interesting.

I'm getting really excited, My henna stencils arrived in the mail this morning and I found someone who's going to put it on for me Thursday! This is going to be cool, I'm really looking forward to it. It's rather amazing, cancer has provided me experiences I would never have experienced otherwise. Let's face it, I wouldn't have just gone out, shaved my head and tried a henna tattoo - but hey, that's what I'm doing now! It actually has provided some great experiences and I feel I'm going to come out of this a much stronger, more well rounded, just different person than I would have been if life had just drifted along status quo!

It's almost time for me to make my way across the street to Dave's Market - another exciting adventure at the grocery store! What's that they say, if you aren't content with what you have, you'll never be content with what you want. So I'm learning to be content with exploring the grocery store as an outing on snowy cold days! In fact if I really get energetic when I get home I may make Joni's birthday cookies. This actually partially depends on what I find at Dave's - because the boxes I bought to package them in to mail are to small for the size cookie cutters I have! Not the best planning, but I just never even thought about it. So wish me luck, actually wish Joni luck - she really wants her cookies :-)

Seems like we should have more accumulation of snow as much as it's been snowing. Not that I am complaining! We haven't been having heavy snow storms, but light flurries consistently over the last week seems like they would have yielded a larger accumulation than what we have. I'm still learning all these little winter weather nuances! They are going to come in very handy in South Florida when I get home! :-)

Well I think I'm going to sign off now and go get snowed on! There's one thing I actually remembered from years ago - when you get snowed on outside it's fine, but make sure you brush it all off as soon asbyou go inside or you'll be soaking wet. I learned that the hard way :-) didn't stop to think that heat melts snow, so I may just have well been standing out in the rain! It was rather funny after I got dried off! See you all later, have a fabulous day and remember to savor whatever you're doing. You can find joy in the most seemingly mundane activity if you look hard enough!

Ode to a Steroid

I cannot believe how incredible steroids are! I was so sick for three days I could barely get out of bed and all I was able to keep down was apple juice & popsicles - finally yesterday I was able to take some tyLenol & an anti-nausea pill and make it one block to the grocery to get some apples which is about all I felt I could eat. Then in the afternoon, I received a call back from my Neurosurgeon and he Agreed we'd try the steroids for a couple of weeks to see if that helped. (previously the Neurosurgeon Resident on call felt it could be caused by the pain medication I started taking for arthritis in the hip). Well, let me tell you - one and a half hours after taking a two milligram pill I felt like a new person! I had my first real food in four days - an enchilada, black beans and corn! I couldn't believe it. I have felt down (less positive and grateful) since my hospital stay the beginning of December, then the flu and then this latest bout - until I took that steroid, I feel like I'm almost back to where I was six weeks ago or something. It really feels great! This is effecting my husband as well as me - his friend interviewed him for his website and here is a link to what he had to say: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ta6GgwBTc68&sns=em

Can you believe after taking the steroid yesterday, I was up baking cookies to bring with me for my chemo see ion at 11:30 last night! Thats a first, usually I'm sound asleep by then. Getting ready to go check in early for my chemo session and see if I schmuze a bit if I can get them to shift me around until one of my favorite nurses is up! They let you request a waitress when you go out to eat, so it seems reasonable. We'll see how I do! If Neil were here he'd get me the nurse I want - so I just have to pretend I'm Neil and do what he would do. We'll see how it goes! :-). Well, on that note I'm going to sign off and go practice my schmuzing - wish me luck!

Still Snowing

It is still snowing! Just light flurries, but still snowing. That is just amazing to me, it never snows this long in West Palm Beach! :-) just hanging out at the bagel shop while I wait for the wash to finish so I can put it in the dryer. I can't believe the way I'm doing laundry - I just throw everything in the same load. That's pitiful, but I'm cheap! I remember in college when the washer was a quarter and the dryer a dime - now it's a $1.50 for each machine! Talk about inflation!

I called my sister and she dais she was on the other line with Bellview, so I asked if it was the mental hospital but apparently it's a drywall company! I figured she might be committing John! :-) Apparently the guy at Bellview got a real laugh out of it!

Well, it's time to go back and take care of the laundry. So I'm going to sign off now and I'll try to blog a bit more this afternoon! So have a fantastic day.

Second Gamma Knife

Well, I had my second gamma knife treatment yesterday, seemed to me it went well. It was a long day I got there a little after 7 AM and didn't leave until about 6:30 PM, but it wasn't bad. There were only 3 of us having treatment, but there were about 6 or 7 friends and family with the other two and everyone was real nice, so it was almost like a big party out in the waiting room! We all had a pretty good time I think. In fact there was one man who was a retired drywaller - so that was interesting, the two of us talked for a long time. I enjoyed it, it's been awhile since I've been around people in the construction field, so it was like old home week! It was also real nice having a long conversation about something unrelated to illnesses, which unfortunately is what most of us have in common!

I'm feeling real good, even my hip (a little arthritis) is feeling pretty good today - so hey life is good! Even the snow has let up for a little bit, we probably have around 8" here - varies by where in town you are, actually it can even vary by which side of the street you're on. That one I haven't figured out yet, seems like at least the roof and the middle of the yard would have some, even if wind was keeping it away from the edge of the house, but no - one side of the street can have nothing. You would never even know it snowed unless you looked to the other sid of the street! I'll have to ask Neil about that one, maybe they studied it in meteorology class.

I went to the grocery and unknowingly dropped a glove, luckily someone turned it in - it's entirely too cold for a gal from Florida to go out without gloves! I had only gone next door which is why I didn't put them on and therefor notice it was missing, but when I got ready to go out, I saw it was gone! I got real lucky I hadn't gone far and someone turned it in! I was trying to figure out where I could get some gloves close by - Starbucks doesn't carry them and neither does the grocery! :-). I would have been out of luck! Well frozen is actually what I would have been! But alas, I got lucky :-).

This is a great afternoon, have time to blog and catch up on a few phone calls, and still playing phone tag with a few others! That makes life interesting I guess. I'm realizing now that the holiday movies are over and I've been watching regular programing for a couple of weeks - why we don't have TV at home. I'm getting totally burnt out on it! Luckily I have some good books to read - people think we're crazy not having TV but I just find it to be a huge waste of time for me and after a little while, boring! I guess it's what your use to! Well, I'm going to run, my friend is coming over and we'll probably go to whole foods so that will be fun! Talk to you all later! Thanks for all the prayers and support!

Another Exciting Night in the ER

Well, I had another exciting night in the Emergency Room, Saturday! At least they didn't admit me, but I was there for 7 hours. That probably wouldn't have been so bad except it was at night, didn't leave until 2AM and I'm not awake at such hours! I'm an 8:00 bedtime type of gal - but I can probably recite the tragic events of Saturday AM in Tucson, since I heard it over & over on CNN (for 7 hours). It's unfortunate that in a matter of minutes, so many lives can be changed forever. It makes me realize just how fortunate I am, while I don't really have control of what's happening in my life, I'm at least alive and able to make choices. I fail to think about just how quickly that could be taken from me, it takes an event like this one to bring that home. When I look at it like that, 7 hours in the Emergency Room is nothing but a slight inconvenience!

I had to run some errands today, so I decided to spend some time at the main building at the clinic. They'll probably have some kind of music here this afternoon, plus there's a great little Mexican place, so I can have something yummy. It's nice for a change of pace! That's my story anyway & I'm sticking to it! :-). They need to have those little smiley face icons on blogs, like they have in mail programs! I'm pushing it now, aren't I? It's amazing how all these buildings are connected - some just with hallways and the actual buildings connect others with walkways over the street or tunnels underneath it. I guess it's important here in the winter, living in South Florida, you tend not to think about that type of thing.

Well, there's someone playing the piano, I think this was just an impromptu thing, he appears to just be someone who was sitting in the lobby, but he plays beautifully! There goes someone with a service dog. It looks like Jolly, only a little be lighter color coat! He was wearing a blue vest, can't remember but seems like that's what they wear when they're in training? I'll have to check into that.

Today is a pretty nice day so far, although supposedly it's 17 degrees, but it doesn't feel like it. They have had all sorts of snow warnings, but we haven't had any in several days, even then it was just light flurries. Cleveland seems to be like Florida - if you don't like the weather, wait 15 minutes and it will change!

I didn't sleep well last night, seems like I woke up hourly, not really sure what that was about. Surprisingly I don't feel tired from a night of disturbed sleep, so that's a good thing! Wednesday is my second gamma knife treatment. The first one was rather successful, all four tumors shrunk! A new one has appeared, which doesn't sound like it's that unusual, in fact it sounds like it's rather common to have multiple new ones appear - so this is another good thing! Plus, this time it will be very easy to take care of the pin sites, because there's no hair in the way!

Well, I think I'm going to have to sign off now, there's a burrito call ing my name! Talk to you all soon!

Finally feeling better!

Sorry I disappeared for awhile, I've had the flu - actually I still have it, but these antibiotics are beginning to get it under control. It was rough for awhile, barely got out of the bed for 4-5 days. Had my brain MRI yesterday, the four original tumors resounded well, they all shrank - there's one new one on the other side, so I have gamma knife again next Wednesday. The doctor feels pretty positive that this one should respond well since all the others did and apparently it isn't uncommon for people to have multiple new tumors when they have their follow up scan, so only one is great!

I'm having my chemo now, so that's a good thing, I couldn't have it last week because I was running a fever with my cold. I finally feel like I'm coming back - this cold or flu has taken more of a toll on me than having gamma knife surgery and chemo treatments! How's that for unbelievable! That's hard to believe, but whatever is going around this year is hitting everyone hard. I rarely get colds or the flu, so I think of them as being nothing - but I guess it's like Hurricanes - some are nothing more than inconvenient, others can be devastating! This is definitely an "Andrew"!

Well, the premeds are are making me woozy so I'm going to sign off. Hopefully I'll feel up to blogging again tomorrow!