Almost time to go home

Well, I leave San Francisco on Monday.  While I'm looking forward to going home (I miss my husband) I'm really going to miss California.  But I will definitely be back.  I finally got to the dahlia garden in Golden Gate Park - it's a bit late in the season so a lot of them were starting to die back, but they were still beautiful.  Some of them, remind me of sea anemones - I'm not sure if it's the colors or the way their petals sort of curl around to look almost tubular - but I can picture them underwater swaying in the current with a cute little clown fish darting in and out of their petals.  This could be a new adventure for Nemo!  I love those Pixar movies.

My sister would love the dahlia garden, well actually the entire park with all the beautiful gardens.  I love it to, but from a different perspective; she as a gardener, me as one who has trouble keeping a silk plant alive!  I think it would be fabulous to have gardens like these, but it just isn't realistic for me.  As much as I hate to admit that, it's true.  So for now I will have to be content getting my flowers from the flower shop rather than my personal cutting garden.

How would you like to have a conservatory like this - great huh?  Well it's time for me to go to sleep.  Hope you enjoyed the dahlias as much as I did.  I have two more days to work in a ride on the carousel - let's see if I make it.  I was looking through the glass today, it wasn't open yet, maybe instead of a horse I should ride a giraffe!  How cool would that be?

Karnamrita Dasi

Tonight's satsang was excellent - Karnamrita Dasi gave a concert, but rather than just singing for us, she spent most of the evening leading kirtan (call & response chanting.)  It was really wonderful.  She not only has a captivating voice, but she is extremely warm, open and gracious, just a very beautiful soul.  It was mesmerizing to say the least.  It was the perfect culmination to my day.  I finished the book I was reading "29 Gifts - how a month of giving can change your life" it was so inspiring, I can't wait to begin the 29 day giving challenge!  I encourage all of you to consider joining as well.  It isn't about giving big or expensive gifts, it's about focusing on others rather than ourselves.  This seems to be a recurring theme recently, in fact, Karnamrita made reference to it this evening, saying when we are being of service to others we are no longer focused on ourselves.  This has an extremely positive effect on all of us.  It seems the universe is sending me a very persistent message - so I'm going to listen, rather than just ignore it!  I'll keep you posted.  Good night, I hope you all sleep well.

Isn't it amazing how quickly things can change?

It's almost unbelievable how much can change in just a few short days.  When I arrived in San Francisco I had a dark cloud hovering over me - it wasn't always in the forefront, often it simply lurked in the dark crevices of my mind.  Generally if I was out, around other people, it would remain at bay, waiting for the dark stillness of night to pounce.  It was during these times I would succumb to my bouts of self pity, why did I have to get cancer, it isn't fair!  Even worse was the incessant thought that plagued me; both of my parents died thirteen months after being diagnosed with cancer, my life was nearing its end.  On an intellectual level I knew this was ridiculous thinking, it had nothing to do with me.  I wasn't stage four when I was diagnosed.  I was also well aware that the mere presence of that thought could prevent me from regaining my health.  No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't escape from it.  So I decided to stay in San Francisco; perhaps the spiritual environment coupled with a lot of physical exercise and a strong vegetarian atmosphere would be the catalyst I needed to change my thought patterns.  Things seemed to be moving along in a positive way and as long as I stayed busy that thought didn't plague me, but if I let up for even a minute, it would rear its ugly head.  My return home was quickly approaching and I was beginning to get concerned.  What would I do when I got home, I'd be back in exactly the same spot I had left.  The suddenly it happened, something shifted almost overnight, I no longer feel like the grim reaper is at my heels.  I know I'll die one day, we all will, but that doesn't mean its going to be soon!  Swami Padma laid out a "mind watchers" program for me and someone else suggested some great visualization techniques.  I think just talking about it sort of put things in perspective, I was able to see how ridiculous some of my thinking really was.  I don't feel sick and I refuse to succumb to a label I've been given.  I will thrive, its not enough to simply survive.  I realize life isn't going to be a bed of roses, but it wasn't a bed of roses before I was diagnosed with cancer, so why should I expect that now?  I also realize that I have a husband who loves me and is willing and able to help me move on with my life, as well as wonderful friends and family.  I'm far more fortunate than so many people in the world and as long as I stay focused on that and live each day to the fullest I can't ask for anything more!  Besides worrying about what might happen tomorrow has never actually had any effect other than ruining my today.  I can honestly say I'm ready to go home, I feel like I finally have what I stayed for and it's a good feeling.  I wish the same for all of you.  I've just started reading a great book "29 Gifts how a month of giving can change your life" I expect it will have a profound effect on my life.  Have a great evening!       

World Veg Festival in San Francisco

The World Veg Festival was held this weekend in Golden Gate Park, San Francisco.  The San Francisco Sivananda Yoga Vedanta Center had a booth, so I spent most of the weekend working the booth.  We had a great time.  The festival was sponsored by the San Francisco Vegetarian Society, and they did a fantastic job.  There were amazing speakers, my favorite, was John Robbins, fantastic food and a lot of really good people.  What more can you ask for?

It was really an awesome weekend.  I think we did a pretty good job on our booth - see what you think.

All in all the festival seemed to be quite a success.  It provided a platform for some very important messages and it allowed people to have a great time while hearing those messages.  Hopefully we'll see some events like this in South Florida in the near future.  Well, gotta run.  Ciao!