Somehow this seems like a lazy Sunday, it's raining (wish it would snow, but it's too warm)and I didn't get out of my pajamas until after 1 PM! I'm keeping my schedule empty for today. I'm just going to take it easy and probably do nothing today. It seems like every day I have a million things to do and I'm going all day long, so this is my present to myself chill out day.
I'm rather amazed at how differently things affect me now, or rather don't affect me. When I was wandering all over this campus lost yesterday, in the past I would have been stressed, frightened, just beside myself, the only issue this time was exhaustion! I wasn't frightened or upset, I was just beginning to get very tired and wanted to get back so I could sit down and rest. There has been a complete shift in the way I think, which is pretty amazing. The best part is fear seems to have been removed from my reality. Fear has always been the dominant emotion in my life and now, it is as though it doesn't exist. Having the fear removed is so freeing, it's as if a weight has been lifted. I never realized how much energy it took to maintain the fear in my life, but now that I'm experiencing it from the other side, I see that I expended tremendous amounts of energy to fear. Just think how much more we could accomplish if we didn't waste tremendous amounts energy on negative emotions! The worst part is, most of us don't even realize we're wasting all this energy. Well, I'm going to leave you with that thought. Hope you all have a great day, I certainly intend to!
November 30, 2010
November 29, 2010
Lost Again
I got lost today, when I came out of the post office, I made a right instead of a left, so although I was 2 small blocks from where I was going, I toured the entire Cleveland Clinic. I must have wandered for 4-5 miles, finally I saw a police officer in his car and asked him how to get back to the main building - turns out I just had to walk in the door next to me go to the end of the hall and make a left! Thank God he was sitting there or I would still be wandering around! But boy did I get great exercise! I would have never done that much walking otherwise, but I know it was good for me. Plus, I was so relaxed from my Reflexology treatment, that was great! Trying to decide what treatment I'll do next, maybe the Reflexology again, there are a lot of choices, you know how that is - too many choices you can't make up your mind! :-) I'll manage though.
They put up the Christmas Trees over the weekend, they are so pretty, and GREEN! They're decorated with white balls that say Cleveland Clinic, and then they are covered with all different shapes of mirrors which reflect the light coming from the ceiling lights - so the trees sparkle and appear to have lights, but they don't, it's really cool. I took some pictures, they don't really do them justice, but hopefully you'll get the idea.
I'll be back in the morning, but for now, I'm going to be! Can't believe I'm going to bed so early, but there's no need staying up if I'm tired, so I'm not going to! In the past I would push myself too much, but that's foolish, so I'm being more responsible! Good night and sweet dreams!
They put up the Christmas Trees over the weekend, they are so pretty, and GREEN! They're decorated with white balls that say Cleveland Clinic, and then they are covered with all different shapes of mirrors which reflect the light coming from the ceiling lights - so the trees sparkle and appear to have lights, but they don't, it's really cool. I took some pictures, they don't really do them justice, but hopefully you'll get the idea.
I'll be back in the morning, but for now, I'm going to be! Can't believe I'm going to bed so early, but there's no need staying up if I'm tired, so I'm not going to! In the past I would push myself too much, but that's foolish, so I'm being more responsible! Good night and sweet dreams!
Reflexology this Morning
Sorry I didn't get back with you guys yesterday. It seems like everything takes longer than I anticipate, but that's nothing new, I always say I'll be back in a minute to Bharata when I'm going to the grocery or whatever and he tells me I've never gone anywhere and been back in a minute, I need to remove the phrase from my vocabulary! I am very proud of myself, I walked 2 miles yesterday and it didn't seem like I walked much at all, because I was distracted looking at things. This is one of those times when distractions are a good thing! When I do laps around the mezzanine I am well aware of how much I'm walking, that's probably how athletes feel when the coach makes them do laps! Don't you love it, I'm comparing myself to an athlete! :-)
This is going to be a very short blog this morning, because I'm waiting for the bus and for some reason I could get Google to tell me when it was coming, so I'm sort of winging it! Luckily the stop is right in front of Bruegger's Bagels and there are windows on the front, because according to my weather for Cleveland it's 33 degrees out there! That's chilly for a Florida girl! :-). I'm rather enjoying the cold weather though, it's a nice change. Plus, it's not like I have to get up everyday and venture out to work or school. That's another benefit of the bus, you don't have to scrape ice off the windshield! Talk later!
This is going to be a very short blog this morning, because I'm waiting for the bus and for some reason I could get Google to tell me when it was coming, so I'm sort of winging it! Luckily the stop is right in front of Bruegger's Bagels and there are windows on the front, because according to my weather for Cleveland it's 33 degrees out there! That's chilly for a Florida girl! :-). I'm rather enjoying the cold weather though, it's a nice change. Plus, it's not like I have to get up everyday and venture out to work or school. That's another benefit of the bus, you don't have to scrape ice off the windshield! Talk later!
November 28, 2010
An Epiphany
Another epiphany, I've finally become one with my spiritual name and have come to understand the significance of a Buddhist saying that always resonated with me. My spiritual name is Padma, which means lotus flower, several years ago I was reading a book when I came across this Buddhist saying "May we all live like the lotus, at home in the muddy water." It struck me as so profound on a personal level, but I thought it was something to aspire towards just like anyone else might do. Now I get it. Padma is now at home in the muddy water. It's so fascinating to watch all the loose ends that are floating around in my life suddenly begin aligning themselves and starting to make so many things so clear.
It's starting to get chilly here, today the high is 41 and the low will be 33, so it's definitely hat weather! I wore the fuzzy one the social worker gave me yesterday - now is this me or what?
I'm going to make a trek to Whole Foods in a little while. I can walk all around the store and get my exercise in and it's more interesting than just making laps on the mezzanine. I also need to pick up some more kale for my green drinks. I figure today will be a good day since tomorrow I go in the opposite direction, to go to the clinic for a reflexology appointment. I'm getting better at the buses, I found out the reason there aren't any schedules around for my routes is because they are making changes that should be out in a couple of weeks. The drivers are so helpful and patient the schedules aren't really necessary, well I guess they are to be at the stop at the correct time, but I get that off Google Transit. What did we ever do before the Internet? It's mind-boggling the resources we have at our fingertips. Remember in the "old days" when we had to go to the library and look something up rather than just Google it? Wow! I remember when we used typewriters with carbon paper to make a copy of something. Things have really changed!
I'll be back when I get home from Whole Foods! You guys have a great day!
It's starting to get chilly here, today the high is 41 and the low will be 33, so it's definitely hat weather! I wore the fuzzy one the social worker gave me yesterday - now is this me or what?
I'm going to make a trek to Whole Foods in a little while. I can walk all around the store and get my exercise in and it's more interesting than just making laps on the mezzanine. I also need to pick up some more kale for my green drinks. I figure today will be a good day since tomorrow I go in the opposite direction, to go to the clinic for a reflexology appointment. I'm getting better at the buses, I found out the reason there aren't any schedules around for my routes is because they are making changes that should be out in a couple of weeks. The drivers are so helpful and patient the schedules aren't really necessary, well I guess they are to be at the stop at the correct time, but I get that off Google Transit. What did we ever do before the Internet? It's mind-boggling the resources we have at our fingertips. Remember in the "old days" when we had to go to the library and look something up rather than just Google it? Wow! I remember when we used typewriters with carbon paper to make a copy of something. Things have really changed!
I'll be back when I get home from Whole Foods! You guys have a great day!
November 27, 2010
Saturday's Here
Sorry I didn't get back to you guys last night, but by the time I got home put away my shopping, did my pranayama, took my vitamins and had dinner, I was too tired, so I just went to bed! I had a very productive day, though, got all my Mother-in-law's Christmas gifts. Macy's was having an incredible sale and they not only have petites, but they carry styles for women over 20, so between Macy's & JoAnn's, plus what I already had purchased at home, she's all set! I did learn one thing, instead of going to every store (which I pretty much did) it's better to do maybe one a day or something, it's a pain to have all these shopping bags on the bus, they're very cumbersome! But I managed, what kind of world class shopper would I be if I couldn't get the stuff home?
I spent a long time talking to a mentally challenged young man at the bus stop, it made me realize I need to be more aware of the people around me. I think he was very lonely and it really seemed to make a big difference for him to have someone just talk to him and be facused on him and interested in what he was saying. It just goes to show, you never know how the simplest act can brighten someone's life. He wanted to know if I knew about jets, apparently he's interested in hearing about flying, unfortunately all I knew was that Neil flys them! I told him I watch for him when I'm out, so I'm going to get some facts from Neil and memorize them, just in case I see him again. It's a good thing we were sitting on a bench, because he thought I was in my 30's like him, when I told him I was 53 I thought he was going to fall off the bench! Hey, works for me if people think I'm in my 30's! It made me start thinking, there are probably some older people in my building who live alone and are lonely, so I have to start paying more attention. There's a lot to be said for not getting caught up un yourself and focusing on others, it's not only good for them, it's extremely beneficial for me as well. I think learning to be more aware and attentive to the needs of others is another one of the gifts I have received. I had chosen to see myself as a relatively good person who was concerned about others, but I see now that I was rather self-absorbed, so it's great that I have this opportunity to change that. I would love to be able to experience the world through Mother Teresa's eyes, seeing only the Divine in people and being selfless enough to focus on their needs and best interests rather than my own. I've always admired her, but never really thought there was a chance to experience life as she did, but now, I feel like the possibility is there I simply have to choose to take it and go with it. I'll keep you posted on my progress. It really feels good to have a higher goal or purpose rather than just concerning myself with feeling good for the moment because of all these worldly distractions. I think this is leading me toward a goal I've had for a very long time, but never really pursued, somehow making this world a better place. Now I guess I just need to find the way in which I'm able to do that. I have no doubt, that if I just sit quietly and listen, God will show me exactly what to do! The problem in the past has always been not being quiet and not listening, but that's changing! I'm going to sign off now, I'll try to post again later. Hope all of you have a fantastic Saturday!
I spent a long time talking to a mentally challenged young man at the bus stop, it made me realize I need to be more aware of the people around me. I think he was very lonely and it really seemed to make a big difference for him to have someone just talk to him and be facused on him and interested in what he was saying. It just goes to show, you never know how the simplest act can brighten someone's life. He wanted to know if I knew about jets, apparently he's interested in hearing about flying, unfortunately all I knew was that Neil flys them! I told him I watch for him when I'm out, so I'm going to get some facts from Neil and memorize them, just in case I see him again. It's a good thing we were sitting on a bench, because he thought I was in my 30's like him, when I told him I was 53 I thought he was going to fall off the bench! Hey, works for me if people think I'm in my 30's! It made me start thinking, there are probably some older people in my building who live alone and are lonely, so I have to start paying more attention. There's a lot to be said for not getting caught up un yourself and focusing on others, it's not only good for them, it's extremely beneficial for me as well. I think learning to be more aware and attentive to the needs of others is another one of the gifts I have received. I had chosen to see myself as a relatively good person who was concerned about others, but I see now that I was rather self-absorbed, so it's great that I have this opportunity to change that. I would love to be able to experience the world through Mother Teresa's eyes, seeing only the Divine in people and being selfless enough to focus on their needs and best interests rather than my own. I've always admired her, but never really thought there was a chance to experience life as she did, but now, I feel like the possibility is there I simply have to choose to take it and go with it. I'll keep you posted on my progress. It really feels good to have a higher goal or purpose rather than just concerning myself with feeling good for the moment because of all these worldly distractions. I think this is leading me toward a goal I've had for a very long time, but never really pursued, somehow making this world a better place. Now I guess I just need to find the way in which I'm able to do that. I have no doubt, that if I just sit quietly and listen, God will show me exactly what to do! The problem in the past has always been not being quiet and not listening, but that's changing! I'm going to sign off now, I'll try to post again later. Hope all of you have a fantastic Saturday!
November 26, 2010
Black Friday
I'm going to fulfill my duty as a red blooded American by starting my Christmas shopping today! Actually I started during the summer, but today seems to be when they start counting it towards meeting the goals set for the holiday season. The biggest thing is to get the presents for my mother-in-law so I can send them to Bharata, he can wrap them and take them to her before he comes up here for Christmas. The stores are like my mezzanine, they provide a great place to walk. I have to admit, shopping doesn't hold the lure it use to, now it's the end result rather than looking forward to the act itself! Amazing the changes all this has had on me. I found these really cool books at Hallmark, you read the story and it records your voice on each page doing that. I have one for each of the two girls I sponsor through the Christian Children's Fund. I know they won't understand the words because it's in English and one is in Bolivia and the other India, but I think it will provide a connection if they can hear my voice as they page through and look at the pictures. We don't always need to speak the same language to communicate. I was also finally able to find postcards for them, The Alcazar has a great selection, but so far no place else in town seems to deal in postcards! I always send them a postcard from wherever I go, I know I use to love getting things like that when I was a child, so I've deduced this is a universal truth for children. I wouldn't make a very good researcher I don't have a worthwhile size group from which I determined this! :-).
I just can't get over how good I feel, seems like everyday I feel stronger and better, it's great! I certainly don't feel like I'm dying, I don't really even feel sick and since as far as I'm concerned what you believe plays a huge part in your recovery from illness, I'm in great shape! So far I don't feel any side effects from the chemotherapy, in fact I actually feel like I'm improving from it already, I don't know if that's possible, but it certainly seems that way. This is why I decided to stay up here for the chemotherapy, I really have complete faith in my doctor and on top of that he's a really nice person and that's important. Of course you all keep hearing this, but everyone here is incredibly nice, it just continues to amaze me.
I've decided after I get home, I'm going to have more get togethers or whatever you might call them. It seems like I'm always thinking about doing it, but just get caught up in the minutiae of everyday life and don't make the time. Staying connected to the people in your life makes a huge difference in the overall quality. I think I'm finally seeing what's really important, rather than letting all these little unimportant details fill up my life and keep me distracted. I can create my own community, even in the burbs! It's foolish to sit and think that can't exist because we don't walk to the grocery store! Life can be anything we decide to make it and I intend to make mine incredible! It can be anything I imagine and as the book said, "Think Big" so that's what I intend to do! No more wasting time and energy worrying about a piece of paper being out of place or whatever, it's time to enjoy all the blessings I have and share them with all the people in my life! I've spent my life waiting for the perfect time to start living, well, there is no "perfect" time, the time is now. Just do it, enjoy everyday with any little bumps that may come along, after all, I learned firsthand the little (or not so little) bumps can be some of our greatest blessings. Well, I'm going to sign off now, I'll update you on my Black Friday contribution when I get home! Have a fantastic day and enjoy every little thing that happens, you never know how special it may turn out to be!
I just can't get over how good I feel, seems like everyday I feel stronger and better, it's great! I certainly don't feel like I'm dying, I don't really even feel sick and since as far as I'm concerned what you believe plays a huge part in your recovery from illness, I'm in great shape! So far I don't feel any side effects from the chemotherapy, in fact I actually feel like I'm improving from it already, I don't know if that's possible, but it certainly seems that way. This is why I decided to stay up here for the chemotherapy, I really have complete faith in my doctor and on top of that he's a really nice person and that's important. Of course you all keep hearing this, but everyone here is incredibly nice, it just continues to amaze me.
I've decided after I get home, I'm going to have more get togethers or whatever you might call them. It seems like I'm always thinking about doing it, but just get caught up in the minutiae of everyday life and don't make the time. Staying connected to the people in your life makes a huge difference in the overall quality. I think I'm finally seeing what's really important, rather than letting all these little unimportant details fill up my life and keep me distracted. I can create my own community, even in the burbs! It's foolish to sit and think that can't exist because we don't walk to the grocery store! Life can be anything we decide to make it and I intend to make mine incredible! It can be anything I imagine and as the book said, "Think Big" so that's what I intend to do! No more wasting time and energy worrying about a piece of paper being out of place or whatever, it's time to enjoy all the blessings I have and share them with all the people in my life! I've spent my life waiting for the perfect time to start living, well, there is no "perfect" time, the time is now. Just do it, enjoy everyday with any little bumps that may come along, after all, I learned firsthand the little (or not so little) bumps can be some of our greatest blessings. Well, I'm going to sign off now, I'll update you on my Black Friday contribution when I get home! Have a fantastic day and enjoy every little thing that happens, you never know how special it may turn out to be!
November 25, 2010
Happy Thanksgiving
I hope all of you had as wonderful a Thanksgiving as I did. Obviously this was a rather special one for me :-)
Today has been doubly great, because I seem to have so much more energy than I usually do. I've been going all day, just now slowed down enough to do my blog and yet I'm not exhausted, I'm not really even tired. I think part of this is because I'm doing more pranayama and I walked a mile today - the exercise gets me going. I found a great way to get my walking in from one of my neighbors. I do laps around the second floor mezzanine, it's great, that way I'm never far from my room, there are chairs & sofas in case I were to need a rest, plus the weather doesn't effect me. Today it was cold and rainy so walking outside wasn't an option, but inside it was perfect! I even found a free pedometer application for the iphone, so I know how far I've walked and how long.
I heard Lifetime was having a movie marathon today and tomorrow and had planned to see if any of the movies were Christmas shows, but I didn't even have time for that, I was just too busy! Go figure! I'm a girl who loves her Christmas shows, so we're talking I was busy not to be able to see if any of the movies were Christmas movies! I feel like I'm really getting back to normal. For the past month, I haven't done much and that in itself really drags you down. So it's great that I'm moving again, it really feels good.
I started reading a wonderful book, and it's really appropriate for today: "Living Life as a Thank You" it's really inspiring and some of the stories really parallel my own. I highly recommend it if anyone's interested. I feel very grateful for the amazing outpouring of prayers, love, advice, aneqdotes, inspiring stories, hats, earrings and lists of resources, I'm overwhelmed by it all and I hope to find my unique way to give back. So, if any of you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them. This not only warms my heart, it restores my faith in humanity. Every day we're inundated with all the bad that's happening in the world, but there's so much good happening that we just don't hear about - we really need to focus on the good it's so much more uplifting and inspiring. All the love I'm receiving makes me strive to be a better person, this really is how each of us can make the world a better place.
It's interesting, I don't think in terms of "if" I get better, it's "when" I get better and when that happens (which it's happening now, it's a process) but I know that I have something to give and discovering what exactly that is and then giving it is what I have to do, I feel like somehow it's my destiny and this cancer is taking me on a journey to make this discovery. It's already altering the way I look at life in such a way that I'm open to discovering and following whatever this destiny of mine is. It just keeps amazing me how beautiful an experience this is when in the past I would never have considered describing it in that way. Ah, what a difference perspective can make.
Well, once again, I will bid you good night. Sweet dreams. I look forward to our time together tomorrow.
Today has been doubly great, because I seem to have so much more energy than I usually do. I've been going all day, just now slowed down enough to do my blog and yet I'm not exhausted, I'm not really even tired. I think part of this is because I'm doing more pranayama and I walked a mile today - the exercise gets me going. I found a great way to get my walking in from one of my neighbors. I do laps around the second floor mezzanine, it's great, that way I'm never far from my room, there are chairs & sofas in case I were to need a rest, plus the weather doesn't effect me. Today it was cold and rainy so walking outside wasn't an option, but inside it was perfect! I even found a free pedometer application for the iphone, so I know how far I've walked and how long.
I heard Lifetime was having a movie marathon today and tomorrow and had planned to see if any of the movies were Christmas shows, but I didn't even have time for that, I was just too busy! Go figure! I'm a girl who loves her Christmas shows, so we're talking I was busy not to be able to see if any of the movies were Christmas movies! I feel like I'm really getting back to normal. For the past month, I haven't done much and that in itself really drags you down. So it's great that I'm moving again, it really feels good.
I started reading a wonderful book, and it's really appropriate for today: "Living Life as a Thank You" it's really inspiring and some of the stories really parallel my own. I highly recommend it if anyone's interested. I feel very grateful for the amazing outpouring of prayers, love, advice, aneqdotes, inspiring stories, hats, earrings and lists of resources, I'm overwhelmed by it all and I hope to find my unique way to give back. So, if any of you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them. This not only warms my heart, it restores my faith in humanity. Every day we're inundated with all the bad that's happening in the world, but there's so much good happening that we just don't hear about - we really need to focus on the good it's so much more uplifting and inspiring. All the love I'm receiving makes me strive to be a better person, this really is how each of us can make the world a better place.
It's interesting, I don't think in terms of "if" I get better, it's "when" I get better and when that happens (which it's happening now, it's a process) but I know that I have something to give and discovering what exactly that is and then giving it is what I have to do, I feel like somehow it's my destiny and this cancer is taking me on a journey to make this discovery. It's already altering the way I look at life in such a way that I'm open to discovering and following whatever this destiny of mine is. It just keeps amazing me how beautiful an experience this is when in the past I would never have considered describing it in that way. Ah, what a difference perspective can make.
Well, once again, I will bid you good night. Sweet dreams. I look forward to our time together tomorrow.
November 24, 2010
Treatment #2
I'm sitting here in my recliner with one of those tables that slides over my lap, it's just like downtown! I'm telling you this because the Benadryl may make me a bit loopy!
I realized this morning, now that I've moved th the Alcazar, it reminds me of the time I spent in San Francisco last year. There's a sense of community, it's a neighborhood where people connect and interact with each other. I really like it, I'm part of something bigger than myself and that's great! Taking the bus was great, very easy to get around, everyone was both nice and helpful and the best part is you're connected. That's one of the drawbacks of living in the burbs, we tend to be so isolated. At home I find myself leaving my house, getting into the car and going to my destination, I do whatever I went for and then return home the same way. I say hello to my neighbors, but there isn't much interaction, I don't feel connected, I find I feel isolated. The interesting part is I'm not really aware of it until I'm someplace like this which is in sharp contrast to it. It's funny, sad really, that I was almost sleep walking through my life, everyday living had basically become a set of habits I wasn't really aware of I just muddled through each day, oblivious to all the wonderful possibilities! A lot of us exist that way and miss out on so much! This is just another way my cancer really is a very precious gift, because it's giving me a whole new view on life! It just goes to show we never really know what is going to be a blessing, we just need to stay open to the possibilities and the universe will give us everything we need! On that note I'm going to sign off, because I'm starting to get drowsy! Have a great afternoon and evening, I'll be back tomorrow!
I realized this morning, now that I've moved th the Alcazar, it reminds me of the time I spent in San Francisco last year. There's a sense of community, it's a neighborhood where people connect and interact with each other. I really like it, I'm part of something bigger than myself and that's great! Taking the bus was great, very easy to get around, everyone was both nice and helpful and the best part is you're connected. That's one of the drawbacks of living in the burbs, we tend to be so isolated. At home I find myself leaving my house, getting into the car and going to my destination, I do whatever I went for and then return home the same way. I say hello to my neighbors, but there isn't much interaction, I don't feel connected, I find I feel isolated. The interesting part is I'm not really aware of it until I'm someplace like this which is in sharp contrast to it. It's funny, sad really, that I was almost sleep walking through my life, everyday living had basically become a set of habits I wasn't really aware of I just muddled through each day, oblivious to all the wonderful possibilities! A lot of us exist that way and miss out on so much! This is just another way my cancer really is a very precious gift, because it's giving me a whole new view on life! It just goes to show we never really know what is going to be a blessing, we just need to stay open to the possibilities and the universe will give us everything we need! On that note I'm going to sign off, because I'm starting to get drowsy! Have a great afternoon and evening, I'll be back tomorrow!
November 23, 2010
Can't Help Laughing
As I said earlier, I had a great day today. Well, after my last post, I weent for a walk to locate the bus stop. According to Google Transit, it is located on the corner of Cedar & Grandview, so I assumed that was the street Starbuck's is on the corner of. Well, that's not Grandview, so I continued walking but as far as I could see up ahead, there was no street called Grandview. I was preparing myself for an extremely long walk, when I got to Chase Bank, which seemed sort of far away when we were driving, but it was no where by foot, and the bus stop sign was right across the street! Piece of cake I thought, this is no problem. I turned around and headed back toward my corner (with the bagel shop) and just as I start to cross the side street, I look up and right in front of the bagel shop on my corner, barely a hop skip and a jump from my apartment building is a bus stop sign! I just looked at it and started laughing! Here I was preparing for a long walk, searching for the elusive bus stop down the street when theres one practically outside the front door, it was too much! But that makes the whole bus thing a piece of cake! So I'm cool with that!
It was an absolutely exquisite day today, I took a picture, but I'm not sure the picture really conveys how crisp and beautiful a day it was! I'm heading to Dave's Market which is straight ahead in the picture.
Oh, I also took a quick snap of the lobby, just so you guys can see how pretty it is. They had a musical concert yesterday and another one today, so this may be a daily thing, I'm going to have to check into that. It's really nice though, there's a music room off the lobby where they hold them, but the music can be heard in the lobby and upstairs on my floor because there's an open mezzanine area. I really enjoy it, it's beautiful classical music. What more can I ask for? Not a thing!
It was an absolutely exquisite day today, I took a picture, but I'm not sure the picture really conveys how crisp and beautiful a day it was! I'm heading to Dave's Market which is straight ahead in the picture.
Oh, I also took a quick snap of the lobby, just so you guys can see how pretty it is. They had a musical concert yesterday and another one today, so this may be a daily thing, I'm going to have to check into that. It's really nice though, there's a music room off the lobby where they hold them, but the music can be heard in the lobby and upstairs on my floor because there's an open mezzanine area. I really enjoy it, it's beautiful classical music. What more can I ask for? Not a thing!
Well, I'm going to bid you good night, it's getting way past my bedtime! I'll talk to you again tomorrow. I'm looking forward to having my next treatment tomorrow, I really feel very positive about it! Sweet dreams.
Another Beautiful Day
It' an absolutely beautiful day. The air is crisp & brisk, not too cold, perfect for a walk, which I'm getting ready to go for. I was amazed last night, I went to Target and walked around for a couple of hours (it was raing outside so I couldn't just go for a walk) I felt great after that. My legs didn't feel 100% before I went, but they were great afterward, so now that I realize how good the walking is for me I'm making sure to do a couple of walks a day and it's great when the weather is this beautiful!
I walk to the bagel shop on the corner to blog, it's great because the music they play is soft rock that I really like. So it's a win win, I'm out seeing people, getting fresh air & exercise, great music and I get to talk to all of you! What more could a girl ask for? I'm going to reactivate my Facebook account, so I can follow all the stuff on Bharata's page. I just want to let everyone know, I never really figured out how it works, so don't be offended if you send me a message or something and I don't respond, I just haven't figured it out! That's actually why I went inactive before, I was afraid people were getting upset because I wasn't responding, but it was just too confusing - apparently social networking is too high tech for me! We'll see what happens this time! This can be a test of whether or not you can teach an old dog new tricks :-)
Bharata & I don't watch TV, in fact we don't even have a TV, we gave it away. So basically I haven't watched TV for 10 years, but I love Christmas shows & movies, so I figured they'll be starting this weekend. I can't imagine channel surfing to see what's on, so I've been trying to find a TV Guide (which were everywhere 10 years ago) they're harder to find than a winning lottery ticket! Is TV Guide ( the small weekly magazine book) still being published or am I chasing a ghost from the past? I guess maybe people are into channel surfing these days and don't need guides, who knows!
I'm getting ready to head down the street towards Starbucks, the bus stop is down there someplace according to Google Transit. I'm thinking about just going for a bus ride to check it out. Have to decide which direction to head. The funny part is I'll be heading right or left, I have no concept of easy vs. West, north or south - I'm usually not to bad with directions like that, but I think it's just I'm not really oriented to the middle of the country, even on paper. I have a vague concept of where Ohio is, but It isn't like being on the east or west coast, which I'm familiar with, so I think that's the problem. This way it makes me feel better about it anyway! :-)
Well, I'm going to head out now and get my exercise and fresh air. I really think with the combination of congenital and alternative treatments, I'm going to beat this. I believe it just goes to show sometimes you need both, not just one or the other. I guess part of what this is teaching me is to be open to everything, sometimes I can get locked into one particular headspace and miss the big picture. There are just so many incredible lessons I'm learning, which are really enriching my life. This truly is a fantastic growth opportunity! So much for my mantra "I don't want to grow any more" God has other ideas! I have to admit, though, that I do want to grow more now that I'm getting a glimpse of where that growth is taking me! Perfect example of missing the big picture, when I was locked into the mindset I didn't want to grow because it was difficult. Just think of all the incredible experiences and new way of seeing and experiencing life I would have missed out on. That really could only be described as tragic! So do try to keep your minds and hearts open to all the endless possibilities that are out there! I'll be back later, have a fantastic day, I'm certainly going to!
I walk to the bagel shop on the corner to blog, it's great because the music they play is soft rock that I really like. So it's a win win, I'm out seeing people, getting fresh air & exercise, great music and I get to talk to all of you! What more could a girl ask for? I'm going to reactivate my Facebook account, so I can follow all the stuff on Bharata's page. I just want to let everyone know, I never really figured out how it works, so don't be offended if you send me a message or something and I don't respond, I just haven't figured it out! That's actually why I went inactive before, I was afraid people were getting upset because I wasn't responding, but it was just too confusing - apparently social networking is too high tech for me! We'll see what happens this time! This can be a test of whether or not you can teach an old dog new tricks :-)
Bharata & I don't watch TV, in fact we don't even have a TV, we gave it away. So basically I haven't watched TV for 10 years, but I love Christmas shows & movies, so I figured they'll be starting this weekend. I can't imagine channel surfing to see what's on, so I've been trying to find a TV Guide (which were everywhere 10 years ago) they're harder to find than a winning lottery ticket! Is TV Guide ( the small weekly magazine book) still being published or am I chasing a ghost from the past? I guess maybe people are into channel surfing these days and don't need guides, who knows!
I'm getting ready to head down the street towards Starbucks, the bus stop is down there someplace according to Google Transit. I'm thinking about just going for a bus ride to check it out. Have to decide which direction to head. The funny part is I'll be heading right or left, I have no concept of easy vs. West, north or south - I'm usually not to bad with directions like that, but I think it's just I'm not really oriented to the middle of the country, even on paper. I have a vague concept of where Ohio is, but It isn't like being on the east or west coast, which I'm familiar with, so I think that's the problem. This way it makes me feel better about it anyway! :-)
Well, I'm going to head out now and get my exercise and fresh air. I really think with the combination of congenital and alternative treatments, I'm going to beat this. I believe it just goes to show sometimes you need both, not just one or the other. I guess part of what this is teaching me is to be open to everything, sometimes I can get locked into one particular headspace and miss the big picture. There are just so many incredible lessons I'm learning, which are really enriching my life. This truly is a fantastic growth opportunity! So much for my mantra "I don't want to grow any more" God has other ideas! I have to admit, though, that I do want to grow more now that I'm getting a glimpse of where that growth is taking me! Perfect example of missing the big picture, when I was locked into the mindset I didn't want to grow because it was difficult. Just think of all the incredible experiences and new way of seeing and experiencing life I would have missed out on. That really could only be described as tragic! So do try to keep your minds and hearts open to all the endless possibilities that are out there! I'll be back later, have a fantastic day, I'm certainly going to!
November 22, 2010
My Pilgramige
I just figured out, this is my Pilgramige! Some people go to Jerusaleum, others to the Pyrenes, me - I get cancer and go to the Cleveland Clinic! This is the way I need to experience it, for whatever reason, so that's good. This experience is bringing me closer to God and after all that's the entire purpose for any of us to exist - to merge back into the Divine within us, thereby becoming one with God. There's no higher purpose to aspire to than that, so once again I'm shown what a precious gift this is. I am so grateful for all of you helping me to recognize this. It's ironic, when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer in May of 2009, I believed without a doubt that I would be dead in June of 2010 because both of my parents died 11 months after their diagnosis. I had absolutely no doubt about this, which is why I went to stay at the Sivananda Yoga Center in San Francisco with Swami Padma last fall. The spiritual discipline I received there pulled me out of that belief and Swami Padma is the one who introduced me to Theta Healing which has continued my journey away from the old beliefs. Here comes the ironic part - now when the situation is much graver and the doctors at home were ready to give up on me, I had transcended those beliefs enough to say, I'm not going to just sit back and accept your prognosis - I'm going for it! Let's face it, not one of us knows how long we have, all we really have is this very minute, so savor it for all it's worth and don't give a thought to a minute, an hour, a week or whatever from now because none of that exists at this point in time! I'm amazed I've been able to stay pretty focused in the moment, which is incredible, because I feel good, things are going great, in this moment I have no problems so there's no reason for me to be upset or feel anything negative under those conditions! Pretty awesome isn't it! I can't tell you how hard I've tried to experience this over the years by what would seem to be easier means, but I couldn't get there, I neded this experience to take me there. Once again we're back to the precious gift - you just never know what the most significant events in our lives will be. Well, on that note I'm going to sign off and zip back to my apartment building before it starts raining again!
November 21, 2010
Buying Green Bananas
Who says I can't buy green bananas? I'll do more than just that, so there!
The best part is I figured out how to add the photos - so that's pretty cool. Now I can start taking some pictures while I'm out and about and posting them. Afterall, now that Bharata went home I have to send him pictures or he won't have anything to paste on facebook! We can't have that, now can we :-)
It's funny, I get tired, fall asleep and then wake up in a few hours (ready to eat something) feeling pretty refreshed, then eat and go back to sleep. It seems to be working out well, so I'm not concerned about it, plus since I'm by myself now, I don't have to worry about disturbing anyone. Although, Bharata sleeps pretty soundly, so I don't think I really disturbed him.
There was an article about Gentle Yoga for people with chronic diseases in a health magazine at the Cleveland Clinic, so I think I'll give that a try. I'll let you know how it works. At this point, I wouldn't consider myself up for doing a full class, but I can handle these 8 postures easily, so should do a good job of releasing tension and relaxing me. Then it will be back to sleep! Although, I rather like the sleep part, there's a lot to be said for sleep, it's very restorative. In fact, I think I will do my postures now. So I will return in a little bit. That felt really good, I didn't realize how tight I am, but actually since all this started, I haven't really done much moving about so it's no wonder. Tomorrow, I'll take a little walk, they suggested I start doing that each day. In fact, I think I'll do some more pranayama before I go back to sleep. That will actually help me go back to sleep.
It's funny in an odd sort of way, the things we need to find balance in our lives! Obviously, I not one of these people who goes for the suble or easy way. I guess in looking at all this I'm more of a drama diva or something, because I've definately drawn a rather drastic method of finding balance into my life! Go figure! My advice to the rest of you is try meditation instead :-) But in all honesty, this is something that I needed for whatever reason and I'm just going to go with that. Somehow this is working for me and I believe I'll come out a stronger better person on the other side of it as long as I continue to embrace it as the gift I'm sure that it is. My second hope is that somehow by sharing my experiences with all of this, it may just make it easier for someone else out there going through the same thing now or in the future. Everything that happens to each of us is exactly what we need at the time, just never lose sight of that and it will all be OK, great actually! On that note, I again will bid you good night, sweet dreams! See you in the AM, but hopefully not too early!
It's funny, I get tired, fall asleep and then wake up in a few hours (ready to eat something) feeling pretty refreshed, then eat and go back to sleep. It seems to be working out well, so I'm not concerned about it, plus since I'm by myself now, I don't have to worry about disturbing anyone. Although, Bharata sleeps pretty soundly, so I don't think I really disturbed him.
There was an article about Gentle Yoga for people with chronic diseases in a health magazine at the Cleveland Clinic, so I think I'll give that a try. I'll let you know how it works. At this point, I wouldn't consider myself up for doing a full class, but I can handle these 8 postures easily, so should do a good job of releasing tension and relaxing me. Then it will be back to sleep! Although, I rather like the sleep part, there's a lot to be said for sleep, it's very restorative. In fact, I think I will do my postures now. So I will return in a little bit. That felt really good, I didn't realize how tight I am, but actually since all this started, I haven't really done much moving about so it's no wonder. Tomorrow, I'll take a little walk, they suggested I start doing that each day. In fact, I think I'll do some more pranayama before I go back to sleep. That will actually help me go back to sleep.
It's funny in an odd sort of way, the things we need to find balance in our lives! Obviously, I not one of these people who goes for the suble or easy way. I guess in looking at all this I'm more of a drama diva or something, because I've definately drawn a rather drastic method of finding balance into my life! Go figure! My advice to the rest of you is try meditation instead :-) But in all honesty, this is something that I needed for whatever reason and I'm just going to go with that. Somehow this is working for me and I believe I'll come out a stronger better person on the other side of it as long as I continue to embrace it as the gift I'm sure that it is. My second hope is that somehow by sharing my experiences with all of this, it may just make it easier for someone else out there going through the same thing now or in the future. Everything that happens to each of us is exactly what we need at the time, just never lose sight of that and it will all be OK, great actually! On that note, I again will bid you good night, sweet dreams! See you in the AM, but hopefully not too early!
I'm on My Own
Bharata left this morning, so I am officially on my own. This is OK, I don't anticipate any problems, I even found the bus schedule, route #32 is my route, piece of cake - I catch it right in front of Starbucks and it goes to Whole Foods and University Commons shopping center, so it couldn't be easier. Best part is I can buy the monthly pass at Dave's Market which is right on the corner.
All in all, this is turning out to be a rather lazy day, I didn't even get up until almost 11AM, but that's good, I need to get my rest. I figure if I don't need to be up early I'll just sleep in and have more energy for the day. Sounds good to me anyway!
I was planning to take a little bus trip after I walk over to Dave's Market for a monthly pass. I also want to check out the market because it's so close for me to just bop over there for whatever I might need from the grocery. I thought at first it was a small neighborhood place, but apparently there are multiplt stores. Also, on closer inspection, it appears to be pretty good size, so we will see.
Well, I'm going to sign off now or the day will be over and I won't have even gotten dressed! Oh, but one last thing, so far I've met 4 of my neighbors and they are all incredibly nice, so I know this is where I'm supposed to be. Everything is just amazing, it's like I wake up each morning like a child filled with awe at everything that is happening. OK, now I really am going :-)
All in all, this is turning out to be a rather lazy day, I didn't even get up until almost 11AM, but that's good, I need to get my rest. I figure if I don't need to be up early I'll just sleep in and have more energy for the day. Sounds good to me anyway!
I was planning to take a little bus trip after I walk over to Dave's Market for a monthly pass. I also want to check out the market because it's so close for me to just bop over there for whatever I might need from the grocery. I thought at first it was a small neighborhood place, but apparently there are multiplt stores. Also, on closer inspection, it appears to be pretty good size, so we will see.
Well, I'm going to sign off now or the day will be over and I won't have even gotten dressed! Oh, but one last thing, so far I've met 4 of my neighbors and they are all incredibly nice, so I know this is where I'm supposed to be. Everything is just amazing, it's like I wake up each morning like a child filled with awe at everything that is happening. OK, now I really am going :-)
November 20, 2010
Another busy day
We had another busy day - Bharata is leaving tomorrow, so we tried to get everything possible done today. This, of course, has worn us both out. But all in all, it was a good day. We got the Operation Christmas Child boxes dropped off and the women we met at the church drop-off were incredibly nice. They even gave me their phone number in case I need anything - I just can't believe what an unbelievable experience this is, every day! The church isn't too far away, by bus or something, so I'm hoping I'll be able to take a bus to services. Somehow this too seems to be a sign, telling me where I need to go and finally at this stage of my life, I not only recognize the signs, I follow them, which is a big part of what's carrying me through all of this so effortlessly.
Just an aside, tomorrow is the last day of collection for the shoebox gifts, "Operation Christmas Child" but I believe you may make a donation on "Samaratinspurse.org" website instead of packing a shoebox. It will bring Christmas joy to a child in some part of our world, letting them know there are people out there that care about them. I can tell you from my own recent personal experience, knowing there are people out there who care is a priceless feeling.
Well, it's getting late (for me anyway) so I'm going to sign off and go to sleep. I wish you all sweet dreams, I'll be back in the morning! Good night.
Just an aside, tomorrow is the last day of collection for the shoebox gifts, "Operation Christmas Child" but I believe you may make a donation on "Samaratinspurse.org" website instead of packing a shoebox. It will bring Christmas joy to a child in some part of our world, letting them know there are people out there that care about them. I can tell you from my own recent personal experience, knowing there are people out there who care is a priceless feeling.
Well, it's getting late (for me anyway) so I'm going to sign off and go to sleep. I wish you all sweet dreams, I'll be back in the morning! Good night.
New Hair Day
It's done, I now have a 1/2" buzz cut! I'll tell you what, I rather like it. Letting go of the hair is both freeing and empowering - I feel like GI Jane!!! Certainly if anybody can kick this disease, it's GI Jane - so watch out cancer, I'm coming after you! The other benefit is I don't have to spend all that time blow drying, just wash and go! Excellent! It's amazing the little things that can really get you going! It's funny because I planned on wearing a scarf or hat after I buzzed it off, but I like it so I don't want to cover it up! I'm trying to figure out how to upload a picture, so far haven't made much progress on that one. I'm thinking it may not be an option from the phone, still checking. I'll post again later and hopefully I'll figure out the picture thing! Have a fantastic day, I don't want to be the only one having such a great time!
November 19, 2010
Another Great Day
Today was another great day. I'm settled into my apartment, it's very warm and homey, not like being in the hotel and a third of the cost! Talk about a deal!!! Everyone is really nice here, so I think this is the right place for me to be, very uplifting. I am still amazed each day with what an awesome experience this is. If someone had told me it was going to be awesome I would have thought they were crazy, but it really has turned out that way! The peace and stillness that comes from surrendering to the Universe is absolutely incredible, I feel like I move through each day in a state of amazement. It truley is a beautiful experience.
Tonight was supposed to be haircut night, but we're both so tired, I think we'll do it in the AM! I have about decided to have Bharata give me a buzz cut like his. I'll wear that for about a week and then shave it and go with the henna tattoo! That way I have a little transition! I also have to check with Manju, but I'm sure she can do the henna once we decide on the designs. Actually, I had about decided I would need to go with some of the designs that came in the kit, but I will have time to make my own designs for her to use! Wow, this is awesome, I don't know why I didn't think about it before! Now I'm getting excited! Well, it will all be on Facebook and tomorrow I'll need to figure out how to post pictures on my blog, using my phone, so I can document everything after Bharata leaves! I'll be a busy girl tomorrow. On that note, I'm going to say good night! Be back tomorrow sans hair :-)
Tonight was supposed to be haircut night, but we're both so tired, I think we'll do it in the AM! I have about decided to have Bharata give me a buzz cut like his. I'll wear that for about a week and then shave it and go with the henna tattoo! That way I have a little transition! I also have to check with Manju, but I'm sure she can do the henna once we decide on the designs. Actually, I had about decided I would need to go with some of the designs that came in the kit, but I will have time to make my own designs for her to use! Wow, this is awesome, I don't know why I didn't think about it before! Now I'm getting excited! Well, it will all be on Facebook and tomorrow I'll need to figure out how to post pictures on my blog, using my phone, so I can document everything after Bharata leaves! I'll be a busy girl tomorrow. On that note, I'm going to say good night! Be back tomorrow sans hair :-)
November 18, 2010
I have an apartment!
I found an effiency apartment in The Alcazar, which is now on the National Register of historic places. It's a beautiful building - check their website: www.thealcazar.com
Bob Hope kept a suite here and rumor has it Cole Porter was in residence when he wrote his hit "Night and Day" seems to be a very eclectic, creative sort of place. I think I'll be very comfortable here. It's also a fraction of what It would cost to stay in the hotel and I have more space and a view of the beautiful courtyard instead of a parking lot and there is a fireplace in the lobby, I hope it gets cold enough for a fire soon! I just love sitting in front of a fire and now that I knit, I can sit in front of the fire and knit. How cool (make that warm) is that!
All in all I had a really good day, got tired, but they said to expect that, so I took a nap and now I feel great. I can go for the naps, use to take them all the time and it was wonderful! So that's definately a plus for me, not a negative ;-)
I just wanted to check in and give you a little update, gotta run so I can get a few more things taken care of before dinner. Everything is still revolving around food!
I hate to end on a sad note, but I think it's something important for us all to think about. I was told a story today about a young woman diagnosed with brain cancer and given 2 weeks to live. The doctors told her to get someone to come stay with her for her last two weeks, which her mother did. Two weeks and one day later she was dead. I was given the same prognosis but I chose not to believe it and I can only wonder whether she might still be with us if she didn't believe it and looked for options???? So what I take from this is never give up! Bharata tells me I have the right stuff. Apparently there was a book written some years ago about pilots who tested new planes, they had a checklist and they were going through their checklist as they hit the ground, because they had the Right Stuff! Well, you can be sure I'm not going to sit back and let this disease take me - I'll be going through my checklist and quite frankly I intend to conquer the disease, but that of course is up to a higher power! We all need to always stay positive and never give up, don't go down without a fight! Believing is over half the battle, I personally don't think there's much (other than God of course) that's more powerful than the human mind, we just don't tap into a fraction of it's power. On that note I'm saying good night. I thank you all again for all the prayers and love you're sending, I've never felt so loved in all my life!
Bob Hope kept a suite here and rumor has it Cole Porter was in residence when he wrote his hit "Night and Day" seems to be a very eclectic, creative sort of place. I think I'll be very comfortable here. It's also a fraction of what It would cost to stay in the hotel and I have more space and a view of the beautiful courtyard instead of a parking lot and there is a fireplace in the lobby, I hope it gets cold enough for a fire soon! I just love sitting in front of a fire and now that I knit, I can sit in front of the fire and knit. How cool (make that warm) is that!
All in all I had a really good day, got tired, but they said to expect that, so I took a nap and now I feel great. I can go for the naps, use to take them all the time and it was wonderful! So that's definately a plus for me, not a negative ;-)
I just wanted to check in and give you a little update, gotta run so I can get a few more things taken care of before dinner. Everything is still revolving around food!
I hate to end on a sad note, but I think it's something important for us all to think about. I was told a story today about a young woman diagnosed with brain cancer and given 2 weeks to live. The doctors told her to get someone to come stay with her for her last two weeks, which her mother did. Two weeks and one day later she was dead. I was given the same prognosis but I chose not to believe it and I can only wonder whether she might still be with us if she didn't believe it and looked for options???? So what I take from this is never give up! Bharata tells me I have the right stuff. Apparently there was a book written some years ago about pilots who tested new planes, they had a checklist and they were going through their checklist as they hit the ground, because they had the Right Stuff! Well, you can be sure I'm not going to sit back and let this disease take me - I'll be going through my checklist and quite frankly I intend to conquer the disease, but that of course is up to a higher power! We all need to always stay positive and never give up, don't go down without a fight! Believing is over half the battle, I personally don't think there's much (other than God of course) that's more powerful than the human mind, we just don't tap into a fraction of it's power. On that note I'm saying good night. I thank you all again for all the prayers and love you're sending, I've never felt so loved in all my life!
November 17, 2010
I Have Begun
OK, I have my IV and am just waiting for the pharmacy to finish mixing my drugs. To think, silly me figured they just grabbed a bag out of the storage closet! I learn something new everyday! Today has been a really positive experience and I'm really feeling great about everything. I'm still amazed by jet how positive and uplifting this entire experience is - It still sort of blows me away, but that's cool! I've sent Bharata to Barnes and Noble for a henna kit! I thnk he's going to shave my head tonight, which as weird as this sounds, is kind of exciting! Is that weird or what? Not that I really care, it's an incredibly freeing feeling to let go of all these attachments that used to run my life. I'm hoping this kit has stencils or something even the 2 of us can handle easily, we'll see. Just keep an eye on my blog or facebook, there will be pictures!!!
I've almost finished my Christmas boxes to be sent to Haiti. I just have to pick up a few more little things and write each child a note. I also bought 2 Hallmark recordable books to send to my 2 Christian Childrens Fund kids for Christmas. That way as I read the story, they hear it in my voice! Very cool idea!
Well, wish I could write more, but the premeds have Benedryal in it and that's beginning to make me drousie!!!! Will try to post again later this afternoon. The main thing is, don't get upset and worry about me. I'm exactly where I need to be, doing what I need to be doing at this point in time! Life is Good, as they say - although, I would say Life is Great!!!! So have a fantastic day and know I'm doing the same! It's hard to believe getting chemo could be such fun! That really does sound a bit wacko, doesn't it??? Oh well, worrying about what other peopl think is getting to be an enormous energy drain, one that I'm over! I've wasted enough of my time and energy on this for way too long! So I'm done with it, time to move on to more worthwhile pursuits - this is such a great feeling! Well, gotta go before I fall asleep! Hang in there and please keep those prayers coming.
I've almost finished my Christmas boxes to be sent to Haiti. I just have to pick up a few more little things and write each child a note. I also bought 2 Hallmark recordable books to send to my 2 Christian Childrens Fund kids for Christmas. That way as I read the story, they hear it in my voice! Very cool idea!
Well, wish I could write more, but the premeds have Benedryal in it and that's beginning to make me drousie!!!! Will try to post again later this afternoon. The main thing is, don't get upset and worry about me. I'm exactly where I need to be, doing what I need to be doing at this point in time! Life is Good, as they say - although, I would say Life is Great!!!! So have a fantastic day and know I'm doing the same! It's hard to believe getting chemo could be such fun! That really does sound a bit wacko, doesn't it??? Oh well, worrying about what other peopl think is getting to be an enormous energy drain, one that I'm over! I've wasted enough of my time and energy on this for way too long! So I'm done with it, time to move on to more worthwhile pursuits - this is such a great feeling! Well, gotta go before I fall asleep! Hang in there and please keep those prayers coming.
November 16, 2010
Better than Disney
I know Walt wouldn't want to hear this, and you're probably going to think I'm crazy, but as I was laying in the CT Scan this morning, I realized that I'm having a much better time here than I had when I went to Disney World! It's both interesting and educational, almost like one of those movies where you tour the body or something. I'm exposed to al these different tests and procedures and everyone is happy to answer your questions and explain things, it's cool. It actually is like I'm on vacation - I'm having a good time. Let's face it, if you have to go through something, you might as well have a great time doing it, regardless what it is and that's what I'm doing! I am a little disappointed that the radioactive dye for my CT scan didn't make me glow in the dark. I figured we could close the blackout curtains at the hotel and Bharata could take some really cool photos for Facebook, but it doesn't work that way, I don't glow in the dark! Shucks!!!! Will have to come up with some alternate cool photo opportunity.
So far they have taken us early for every appointment today, it's amazing, and on every desk in this place, there are signs "if you've waited more than 15 minutes notify someone" where else would you ever see those? This is just such an incredible experience, I just can't get over it, it's better than going on a cruise. Bharata and I are spending some great quality time together, as well. Our time together is of a much higher quality than when we go on vacation or something, there just seem to be all sorts of silver lining. Just goes to show you, we never know how positive inexperience can be if we judge it at surface value, rather than allowing ourselves to fully experience it.
I hope you are all still keeping Bil in your prayers, he's having his heart surgery today. I also heard about a really awesome project - Operation Christmas Child, you fill a shoebox with gifts for needy children, this years target is Haiti. November 15-22 or something is national collection week, so Im going to find out where I can get some of their shoeboxes and put together a few, that should be fun and it will give a child a happy Christmas memory so it's a win win situation. If you're interested, do a google search for Operation Christmas Child. I saw it on CNN while I was waiting for my scan. Gotta run, will try to post again later. Hope you all have as great a day as I'm having! Ciao!
So far they have taken us early for every appointment today, it's amazing, and on every desk in this place, there are signs "if you've waited more than 15 minutes notify someone" where else would you ever see those? This is just such an incredible experience, I just can't get over it, it's better than going on a cruise. Bharata and I are spending some great quality time together, as well. Our time together is of a much higher quality than when we go on vacation or something, there just seem to be all sorts of silver lining. Just goes to show you, we never know how positive inexperience can be if we judge it at surface value, rather than allowing ourselves to fully experience it.
I hope you are all still keeping Bil in your prayers, he's having his heart surgery today. I also heard about a really awesome project - Operation Christmas Child, you fill a shoebox with gifts for needy children, this years target is Haiti. November 15-22 or something is national collection week, so Im going to find out where I can get some of their shoeboxes and put together a few, that should be fun and it will give a child a happy Christmas memory so it's a win win situation. If you're interested, do a google search for Operation Christmas Child. I saw it on CNN while I was waiting for my scan. Gotta run, will try to post again later. Hope you all have as great a day as I'm having! Ciao!
November 15, 2010
One Last Thing
I almost forgot - the chemotherapy will most likely make my hair fall out, so I'm seriously thinking about shaving my head - why let the chemotherapy take my hair when I can choose to let it go? Here's the best part - I'm thinking if I shave it, I can get a henna tattoo or whatever they call it where they paint designs with henna! Doesn't that sound cool or am I crazy or maybe a bit of both! I need to have a theme, so I was thinking "Celebrate Life" - so if you're out there Lucy, I want to hear from you - I know you had some ideas about something similar when my mom was sick, so I want your input! This could be a real empowering move on my part and hopefully if the design is moving enough, it will be an inspiration for others! This gives me something to think about, only problem is, I'm not sure about the shaved head for winter in Ohio part - but I'm going to give it some thought and see if the doctor is cool with it. I'll keep you posted, including pictures. Who knows this could be a new fashion trend, henna head designs! Do you think should try to get patent? That's all folks, chat tomorrow!
I Figured Out The Difference!
It hit me at lunch today, what makes it soooo different up here. They treat you as a whole person, not just a doctor addressing his area of expertise or responsibility. When I first arrived and met with the Radiologist for the brain, he went out and rounded up one of his collegues who was a radiologist for breasts and had him come look at me. He in turn had his nurse schedule an appointment with a breast surgeon for the next day. This has been the rule, not the exception. I can't recall being in any type of medical facility where this it functions like this. I'm sure there are places, but vie never been there. I think that's why I feel so comfortable and safe. That's an incredibly important component as far as I'm concerned, because all the energy I would formerly be wasting worrying about what I needed to do, if I needed to see someone else, is this the right thing, all that sort of stuff, can now be used for healing, all I basically have to do is show up for my appointments. That I believe is what's making this incredibly easy, all I have to do is show up, what can be simpler than that?
We found this incredible food co-op today, not far from the hotel, it's amazing, all kinds of stuff and a lot of organic. They even have raw, organic pistachios which Ive never been able tomfind at home, I generally order them off the Internet. It probably sounds ridiculous, but this is really a very enjoyable experience - but I will admit given the choice I would be having it for some other reason :-). Alas, we can't choose the reasons so it is what it is, but I'm going tom enjoy it anyway. Certainly not everyone who finds themselves in my position is lucky enough to be experiencing what I am and for that I am ever so grateful! It's really amazing, because there are so many positive things that are coming from this, that it really is a blessing, I can see so many ways in which I'm growing and basically just approaching life differently that I know I wouldn't have been doing if God hadn't given me this particular growth opportunity. I find that as long as I stay focused on that, (all the positive aspects arising from my experience) it really isn't so bad. That probably sounds a bit strange, but it's true. In fact, my husband asked me today if I was afraid, and I'm someone who would have to say my life would best be described as being fearful for as long as I can remember, each day being a battle to face those fears and try to move through them, but I had to say, no, I'm not afraid! The answer schocked me, but I feel a new kind of peace from fear that I've never experienced before and I think if I'm honest, it makes this well worth it in some kind of strange way. I'm not sure that if it were possible to go back in time and not have any of this happen that I would change it because that feeling of peace from fear which I guess is more of a surrendering to God and accepting of whatever is, well, that is such a powerful, profound experience I don't think I would want to give it up. I believe it's a life changing experience which is carrying me closer to where we all ultimately are headed, to connect to the divine within ourselves. It is such an uplifting, blissful experience - I wish there was a way I could adequately describe it, but it's like if you've never tasted an apple, no matter what I say to describe it, you aren't going to know what it tastes like, just trust me when I say it's bliss.
On that note, I'm going to leave you tonight, but I do have a request - a friend of ours, Bill, from the Yoga Ranch in upstate New York is going to be having open heart surgery on Wednesday, so if you could add him to your prayers, that would be great!
We found this incredible food co-op today, not far from the hotel, it's amazing, all kinds of stuff and a lot of organic. They even have raw, organic pistachios which Ive never been able tomfind at home, I generally order them off the Internet. It probably sounds ridiculous, but this is really a very enjoyable experience - but I will admit given the choice I would be having it for some other reason :-). Alas, we can't choose the reasons so it is what it is, but I'm going tom enjoy it anyway. Certainly not everyone who finds themselves in my position is lucky enough to be experiencing what I am and for that I am ever so grateful! It's really amazing, because there are so many positive things that are coming from this, that it really is a blessing, I can see so many ways in which I'm growing and basically just approaching life differently that I know I wouldn't have been doing if God hadn't given me this particular growth opportunity. I find that as long as I stay focused on that, (all the positive aspects arising from my experience) it really isn't so bad. That probably sounds a bit strange, but it's true. In fact, my husband asked me today if I was afraid, and I'm someone who would have to say my life would best be described as being fearful for as long as I can remember, each day being a battle to face those fears and try to move through them, but I had to say, no, I'm not afraid! The answer schocked me, but I feel a new kind of peace from fear that I've never experienced before and I think if I'm honest, it makes this well worth it in some kind of strange way. I'm not sure that if it were possible to go back in time and not have any of this happen that I would change it because that feeling of peace from fear which I guess is more of a surrendering to God and accepting of whatever is, well, that is such a powerful, profound experience I don't think I would want to give it up. I believe it's a life changing experience which is carrying me closer to where we all ultimately are headed, to connect to the divine within ourselves. It is such an uplifting, blissful experience - I wish there was a way I could adequately describe it, but it's like if you've never tasted an apple, no matter what I say to describe it, you aren't going to know what it tastes like, just trust me when I say it's bliss.
On that note, I'm going to leave you tonight, but I do have a request - a friend of ours, Bill, from the Yoga Ranch in upstate New York is going to be having open heart surgery on Wednesday, so if you could add him to your prayers, that would be great!
November 14, 2010
Great New Day
I had every intention of posting when I got back to the hotel yesterday afternoon, but it turned out to be a grueling day for both of us. We spent hours trying to download a GPS ap from iTunes and for some reason it wasn't working. It's ridiculous how something so stupid can cause such stress and be so draining. Another opportunity for growth! So much fun. We went to Manju's for dinner, that was very uplifting and relaxing so I slept really well (and rather late) so I feel great today. In fact, we had a fairly relaxing day today, just took it easy, which is what we both needed. Tomorrow should be a pretty low key day, as well. So I think well be in excellent shape for my tests on Tuesday! Most of Tuesday is booked with tests and then Wednesday I have my first chemotherapy treatment, it's funny, because I don't feel worried about it - I think this is what I need to be doing now and basically it's just a matter of putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward one step at a time, which is what I'm doing!
I still am just amazed & extremely grateful and happy at all the love and prayers that are coming my way - it's an amazing feeling to realize so many people care so much, I had no idea. This whole experience has been so phenomenal in so many ways it's just awesome. Of course, if I'm honest, I think I would have preferred some other catalyst for the experience, but I do know it's very important for my overall well being and growth/development in this life. Let's face it everything that happens and how we choose to handle it brings us that much closer to connecting to the divine within us. I'm trying to use those who have gone before me as an example, to follow there higher examples rather than succumbing to my lower nature. I feel like I can choose to embrace all of this with grace & presence thereby allowing it to be a very touching divine experience or I can choose to succumb to my attachments to this life and fight the experience which will make it not only negative, but frustrating and honestly it won't ultimately effect the destined outcome, so I figure I'll take the high road and trust myself in Gods care. This entire experience is actually very uplifting - which still sort of blows my mind, but I'm trying to stay focused on the positive energy which is permeating everything - my hope is that like Ghandi, I can keep God in the forefront of my thoughts & I believe that is achievable! It's really a pretty good feeling and being able to turn loose of so much of this by leaving myself in God's hands, which I feel in turn he has me in the care of doctors who know what I need - is incredibly freeing. I feel a tremendous weight has been removed from my shoulders. It's amazing the relief and calm that comes from it. Wow is all I can say!
I hope I haven't rambled too much, if I have, I'm sorry! Well, I'm going to sign off now, it's about time for another meal - that seems to be the main thing I do these days! I'll be back tomorrow, I promise! Have a great evening, I know I'm going to. Thanks again for all the love and prayers!
I still am just amazed & extremely grateful and happy at all the love and prayers that are coming my way - it's an amazing feeling to realize so many people care so much, I had no idea. This whole experience has been so phenomenal in so many ways it's just awesome. Of course, if I'm honest, I think I would have preferred some other catalyst for the experience, but I do know it's very important for my overall well being and growth/development in this life. Let's face it everything that happens and how we choose to handle it brings us that much closer to connecting to the divine within us. I'm trying to use those who have gone before me as an example, to follow there higher examples rather than succumbing to my lower nature. I feel like I can choose to embrace all of this with grace & presence thereby allowing it to be a very touching divine experience or I can choose to succumb to my attachments to this life and fight the experience which will make it not only negative, but frustrating and honestly it won't ultimately effect the destined outcome, so I figure I'll take the high road and trust myself in Gods care. This entire experience is actually very uplifting - which still sort of blows my mind, but I'm trying to stay focused on the positive energy which is permeating everything - my hope is that like Ghandi, I can keep God in the forefront of my thoughts & I believe that is achievable! It's really a pretty good feeling and being able to turn loose of so much of this by leaving myself in God's hands, which I feel in turn he has me in the care of doctors who know what I need - is incredibly freeing. I feel a tremendous weight has been removed from my shoulders. It's amazing the relief and calm that comes from it. Wow is all I can say!
I hope I haven't rambled too much, if I have, I'm sorry! Well, I'm going to sign off now, it's about time for another meal - that seems to be the main thing I do these days! I'll be back tomorrow, I promise! Have a great evening, I know I'm going to. Thanks again for all the love and prayers!
November 12, 2010
Another New Day
Well, this morning we're doing our laundry and having breakfast before I have my Theta session. I'm really looking forward to that because the sessions are really productive! We're getting squared away with a new room today so I'll be settled for at least a month. I have a few more things to pick-up so I'll be set up like "home" (remember everythings relative) :-). I even found a Michaels Arts & Crafts on the map, so I can get a few small creative things to keep me busy in the room! Plus I'm downloading the last season of Monk from iTunes, I love that show! I even think I'll start knitting a scarf, it's very relaxing to just sit and knit, not to mention I'm sure I'll get some good use out of it here, certainly more so than in Florida!!!
My next little project is to figure out how to post pictures from my phone - I'm sure it's very simple, I just haven't done it so I need to figure it out! Will make things more interesting - but then I'm very visual so it may not be as important to some of you as it is me. But personally I think most people rather enjoy pictures, they just add another dimension. Well, I'll post again later, I don't want to be late for my Theta session. Hope you all have a great day, I certainly intend to! Given the choice of having a great day or not having a great day, why choose any thing less than spectaular? We've already determined that what really determines what we experience is not the experience itself, but rather the way in which we choose to look at it! So let's look at it positively!!! I'll update you later, have a fabulous day!
My next little project is to figure out how to post pictures from my phone - I'm sure it's very simple, I just haven't done it so I need to figure it out! Will make things more interesting - but then I'm very visual so it may not be as important to some of you as it is me. But personally I think most people rather enjoy pictures, they just add another dimension. Well, I'll post again later, I don't want to be late for my Theta session. Hope you all have a great day, I certainly intend to! Given the choice of having a great day or not having a great day, why choose any thing less than spectaular? We've already determined that what really determines what we experience is not the experience itself, but rather the way in which we choose to look at it! So let's look at it positively!!! I'll update you later, have a fabulous day!
November 11, 2010
On to the Next Step
Met with the oncologist this morning, like everyone else, he's extremely nice and comes highly recommended. He's ordering a few more scans and to begin chemotherapy, so I'm waiting for a call with the appointments as I write. We discussed that I could do this at home, but I feel in my heart this is where I need to be so I've opted to have treatments here. He did say they probably won't cure this, but rather it will be ongoing treatment, which is OK. He did however say it was not impossible and there are new drugs coming out and certainly there is hope and not to let go of that, which I'm not. It's kind of funny in a way, but I've been given so many gifts from God, all my life. Whether it was talents, abilities, opportunities, special people... I haven't always put these gifts to their best use, many in fact have been squandered, but I've always felt somewhere deep inside God had a purpose for me, I think this may be part of that purpose. Somehow this takes on a greater purpose if I can embrace the diagnose with all it's ups and downs and hopefully be an inspiration or example to others that this isn't the end of the world. It's merely one more step in my journey, something to be experienced, appreciated for what it's giving and teaching me and as a tool I can use to fully experience life and encourage others to do the same. None of us knows how long we have or in what capacity we will live our lives, all we really have is this very moment to savor and enjoy - whatever God blesses us with beyond right now, remains to be seen, for each of us. Isn't that part of what makes life interesting? Trusting in the greater good, embracing the , and just going with the flow? This whole concept is getting much easier since beginning my Theta Healing sessions - I really believe my work with Dr. Lisa is helping me through this in a very profound way. You can check it out if you're interest in knowing more about it.
www.leitheta.com
I believe this will play a major part in my being "cured" verses just being treated, the power of the mind is something that shouldn't be dismissed. The mind can tip the scales in either direction, so it only makes sense to tip them in the direction that best suits me. Well, in my opinion, ultimately it's up to God and I'm good with that. Sometimes it feels scary but that's just part of the experience. Well, were off to gather a few more clothing items I need and just wander around Cleveland. The weather is beautiful, my only complaint and it's a minor one, is that I can't find postcards and I always try to send my to CCF foster kids postcards from wherever I go. This time they may just have to get hallmark cards! If that's the worst that happens in their lives, it's OK! Well, I'm gonna run will post again later!
Ciao!
www.leitheta.com
I believe this will play a major part in my being "cured" verses just being treated, the power of the mind is something that shouldn't be dismissed. The mind can tip the scales in either direction, so it only makes sense to tip them in the direction that best suits me. Well, in my opinion, ultimately it's up to God and I'm good with that. Sometimes it feels scary but that's just part of the experience. Well, were off to gather a few more clothing items I need and just wander around Cleveland. The weather is beautiful, my only complaint and it's a minor one, is that I can't find postcards and I always try to send my to CCF foster kids postcards from wherever I go. This time they may just have to get hallmark cards! If that's the worst that happens in their lives, it's OK! Well, I'm gonna run will post again later!
Ciao!
Step 3 Today
Yesterday was a great day! I had planned to update my blog when I got home but I just didn't have the energy. It's funny, it was extremely positive but just the whole gamut of emotions we both went through was rather draining. I can only describe it as being on a roller coaster ri de for the last couple weeks and the constant surge of adrelenine is taxing to the body. Probably the biggest drain is the eating! I eat non-stop because of the steroids, and it's food I'm not accustomed to eating, it's like the way people feel after huge holiday meals, except it goes on all day & night with me! It takes a lot of energy to digest this much food!!! I can tell you one thing, those size 4 jeans don't stand a chance of zipping up anytime soon - thank God for elastic! Well enough about all of this! I'm really feeling pretty excited about getting home because I think one of the major (and there have been many) is that I'm going to get reconnected with my artistic side. That's really who I am and I had allowed myself to lose touch which means I wasn't fully living in myself so this will be great. There's a great video about the gifts of brain cancer by a woman named Stacy Kramer,
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/stacey_kramer_the_best_gift_i_ever_survived.html
It's strange because so much of what she talks about so parrells my experience, that I have to wonder are she and I just very similar or are the universal gifts that come with brain cancer and some people choose not to see or accept them? That gives me something to contemplate. I know there are gifts, silver linings, whatever you want to call them in everything even though we can't always see them, but it's really rewarding and inspiring when I'm able to get a glimpse and it makes everything so much easier when I'm able to embrace it with gratitude rather than react from a place of fear. Perspective is a funny thing, it totally changes an event's energy simply based on how you look at it - even though nothing else has changed! Wow! Well, on that note I'm going to sign off so I can get to my appointment with the oncologist! I'll post an update this afternoon when I'm through! Remember, always try to stay focused on the gifts!
Love to all and thanks again for all the love and prayers you're sending, they really are helping!
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/stacey_kramer_the_best_gift_i_ever_survived.html
It's strange because so much of what she talks about so parrells my experience, that I have to wonder are she and I just very similar or are the universal gifts that come with brain cancer and some people choose not to see or accept them? That gives me something to contemplate. I know there are gifts, silver linings, whatever you want to call them in everything even though we can't always see them, but it's really rewarding and inspiring when I'm able to get a glimpse and it makes everything so much easier when I'm able to embrace it with gratitude rather than react from a place of fear. Perspective is a funny thing, it totally changes an event's energy simply based on how you look at it - even though nothing else has changed! Wow! Well, on that note I'm going to sign off so I can get to my appointment with the oncologist! I'll post an update this afternoon when I'm through! Remember, always try to stay focused on the gifts!
Love to all and thanks again for all the love and prayers you're sending, they really are helping!
November 8, 2010
Step One Done
Today was a great day, long and rather intense, but GOOD, really positive and uplifting. Considering last week I was being written off, now I have a follow up appointment for January 4,2011! That's pretty cool! So looks like I'll be celebrating my 54th birthday (1/5/11) in Cleveland and that works for me!
They say the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, so far I feel I've taken more than one step - and I feel I'm well on my way. I didn't feel safe and confident like this in Florida, I just know in my heart, I'm where I need to be and feel like I'm getting exactly what I need. The really odd part for me is that I don't feel the need to second guess the doctors - I trust them implicitely, which takes a lot of stress, worry and fear off my shoulders and I must say that feels really good.
You can't imagine how kind and compassionate everyone here is, not just the hospital staff, but everyone - it's just really a special place for me to be right now. I also have to say, I have never felt so loved and cared about. I am so overwhelmed by all the prayers, love, good wishes, flowers, visitors and help that has been pouring forth from so many people. I just never realized so many people cared about me like that. It feels really good and I can't begin to say how much all of this has helped. It's wonderful, thank you all so very much!
I feel really inspired, I'm ready to sketch a few ideas of some art pieces to work on when I get home. I've allowed myself to loose touch with my creative side over the years, but I need to get back in touch, because that's really a critical part of who I am.
So often things happen in life that are devasting or seem so at the time, because of our frame of reference - but sometimes when we make it to the other side of the event, we can see a positive aspect which wasn't visible before. It was like that for me when my father died, it was devasting at the time, but looking back it was a pivotal point in my life. So I feel this experience too will be something like that. I believe this is making me appreciate life more and I hope that in some way my experience will help someone else who may have to face similar things. That by knowing that I got through it perhaps it will be easier for them, less frightening and alone. That will give this an even more positive aspect. Regardless, every thing is happening exactly as it needs too, even though I can't see the whole picture. This is where faith and trust come in! I'm sitting in God's hand and I know he has it all under control, so I don't need to worry about anything, just relax and go with the flow.
Speaking of going with the flow, I'm ready to go to bed and get some sleep. I just feel so good, happy, content - I know that I have everything I need and I'm very grateful for that. Life is good!
Goodnight, I'll be back in the morning. Sleep well, I know I will!
They say the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, so far I feel I've taken more than one step - and I feel I'm well on my way. I didn't feel safe and confident like this in Florida, I just know in my heart, I'm where I need to be and feel like I'm getting exactly what I need. The really odd part for me is that I don't feel the need to second guess the doctors - I trust them implicitely, which takes a lot of stress, worry and fear off my shoulders and I must say that feels really good.
You can't imagine how kind and compassionate everyone here is, not just the hospital staff, but everyone - it's just really a special place for me to be right now. I also have to say, I have never felt so loved and cared about. I am so overwhelmed by all the prayers, love, good wishes, flowers, visitors and help that has been pouring forth from so many people. I just never realized so many people cared about me like that. It feels really good and I can't begin to say how much all of this has helped. It's wonderful, thank you all so very much!
I feel really inspired, I'm ready to sketch a few ideas of some art pieces to work on when I get home. I've allowed myself to loose touch with my creative side over the years, but I need to get back in touch, because that's really a critical part of who I am.
So often things happen in life that are devasting or seem so at the time, because of our frame of reference - but sometimes when we make it to the other side of the event, we can see a positive aspect which wasn't visible before. It was like that for me when my father died, it was devasting at the time, but looking back it was a pivotal point in my life. So I feel this experience too will be something like that. I believe this is making me appreciate life more and I hope that in some way my experience will help someone else who may have to face similar things. That by knowing that I got through it perhaps it will be easier for them, less frightening and alone. That will give this an even more positive aspect. Regardless, every thing is happening exactly as it needs too, even though I can't see the whole picture. This is where faith and trust come in! I'm sitting in God's hand and I know he has it all under control, so I don't need to worry about anything, just relax and go with the flow.
Speaking of going with the flow, I'm ready to go to bed and get some sleep. I just feel so good, happy, content - I know that I have everything I need and I'm very grateful for that. Life is good!
Goodnight, I'll be back in the morning. Sleep well, I know I will!
On my way
OK, I've had my tests (MRI & CT scan) even got in a little nap! Now I have about 45 minutes or an hour before I start my gamma knife treatment! Then I'm off to Whole Foods for some Soy Decadent chocolate vegan ice cream - Yum!!! Not the best food choice but it's delisions! Gotta go for the gusto :-)! This is actually going very well, I feel very safe and in good hands, although convential medicine wasn't my strong suit before, somehow the combination of convential and alternative/energy work feels right and I feel confident and safe enough to follow their advice, which will make Joni very happy!
Hopefully, I'll have enough energy to go to Pier 1 which is next door to Whole Foods, didn't get there yesterday. Just in case they carry something in Cleveland that they don't have in West Palm Beach! Can't miss out on any of those deals I may really "need" love the use of that word! I have always used that in place of "want" somehow it justifies shopping :-). What can I say, I am working on toning down the shopping - and I have improved a lot! The truth is, it's a great diversion and as long as I know that's what it is, it's OK! Besides, I think I'm entitled to a diversion long about now! It's nice to just get away from it all and not need to think about everything for a little while.
I bought some markers and paper yesterday, so I plan to work on some designs for some art quilts/felted pieces I want to work on when I get home. Somehow I think angel wings and hearts will be taking on a prominent place in my work from now on. I really feel surrounded by love (hearts) and prayers/angels (wings) thanks to all of you! I can't express my gratitude to you all adequately, but I am so, so grateful. Thank you! I'm going to sign off for now, will try to post again tonight from the lobby! Love to you all and thank you spool much!
Hopefully, I'll have enough energy to go to Pier 1 which is next door to Whole Foods, didn't get there yesterday. Just in case they carry something in Cleveland that they don't have in West Palm Beach! Can't miss out on any of those deals I may really "need" love the use of that word! I have always used that in place of "want" somehow it justifies shopping :-). What can I say, I am working on toning down the shopping - and I have improved a lot! The truth is, it's a great diversion and as long as I know that's what it is, it's OK! Besides, I think I'm entitled to a diversion long about now! It's nice to just get away from it all and not need to think about everything for a little while.
I bought some markers and paper yesterday, so I plan to work on some designs for some art quilts/felted pieces I want to work on when I get home. Somehow I think angel wings and hearts will be taking on a prominent place in my work from now on. I really feel surrounded by love (hearts) and prayers/angels (wings) thanks to all of you! I can't express my gratitude to you all adequately, but I am so, so grateful. Thank you! I'm going to sign off for now, will try to post again tonight from the lobby! Love to you all and thank you spool much!
November 7, 2010
Tomorrow's the big day!
We had a wonderful afternoon & evening with Manju! We're home now and I'm totally exhausted, I think when I close my eyes I will be asleep in seconds. But that's good, I want to be well rested for my adventure tomorrow. I wanted to say good night to all of you and thank you again for all the prayers and love I've been receiving. Without all of your prayers I don't think things would be happening the way they are. I plan to post after my surgery tomorrow, let you all know what it was like. So tomorrow marks a new beginning in my life. It's actually kind of exciting! Does that sound weird? Well, what can I say... I'm different :-). Anyway, time for sleep, love you all, thanks again for everything!
Green Bananas
I have been terribly remiss about my blogging, haven't posted for months, but my intention is to start back now, and stay on a regular schedule! I think it will do me good to write about what's going on with me, but also there may be someone else out there that will benefit from some of my experiences - I know that I have certainly been quite fortunate to receive all the prayers, encouragement, advice and love from so many people. Many that I hadn't seen in quite some time, so I take that as a blessing also, this has reconnected me with people I had lost touch with, just bbecause sometimes I allow life to get in the way of living! So this is providing an important lesson for me, embrace every moment and stay in the present! As Eckert Tolle would say, at this moment I have no problems, I feel fine am eating like a pig but generally feeling fine like before all this started. But the bottom line is that the past is over and the future is out of my control, so what I have is right now, so enjoy it!
Everyone here is so king, compassionate and hopeful! They don't deal in negative outcomes and giving up, we just move forward. I know in my heart I'm exactly where I need to be and although from time to time i do feel frightened & overwhelmed, in general, I feel strong and positive! Plus when I need a diversion, I go shopping :-) that always works!!!! I may need another suitcase on the way home, but what the he'll!
My plan is to have our Christmas Eve open house, so I'll have to start planning that when I get back! Plus I have to start my Christmas baking - cookies, maybe this year I'll add cupcakes. We went to the mall yesterday and there was a place I think it was white flower cakes, they had absolutely beautiful cupcakes - I must admit I tried them and they not only look beautiful but taste great too! You can check it out at whiteflowercake.com! Awesome!
They even have an Apple store very close to where we are, so we're fine - as long as you have an Apple store, life is good! I love My Apple!
We're going to run to Target in a little while and then spend the afternoon with Manju, so that should make for a fun, relaxing afternoon! I'll hang out in her massage chair while we're there! They have all kinds of "free" things like reflexology, massage, etc.. So I think I'll schedule something relaxing for tomorrow after my surgery, treat myself! :-)
I'm trying to decide if I'm going to check out Pier One (it's next to Target) Tara and I are going to check out their Christmas decorations after I get home, but just in case they have a different selection here, need to make sure I don't miss anything I really "need" ha ha! Like I really need Christmas decorations, I've been collecting them sine I was a teenager, but as far as I'm concerned, you can never have too many :-)
Well, I'm going to sign off now, will try to post again later. Keep the prayers and love coming, it really helps! Thanks again for everything everyone has done, I'm being carried by angels thanks to all of you!
Remember, "Life's a Journey" and if w just go with the flow rather than trying to control it, it is much more enjoyable and fun! Besides, none of us has control over it anyway, we just try to tell ourselves we do!
Love to all, will keep you posted on what's happening!
Everyone here is so king, compassionate and hopeful! They don't deal in negative outcomes and giving up, we just move forward. I know in my heart I'm exactly where I need to be and although from time to time i do feel frightened & overwhelmed, in general, I feel strong and positive! Plus when I need a diversion, I go shopping :-) that always works!!!! I may need another suitcase on the way home, but what the he'll!
My plan is to have our Christmas Eve open house, so I'll have to start planning that when I get back! Plus I have to start my Christmas baking - cookies, maybe this year I'll add cupcakes. We went to the mall yesterday and there was a place I think it was white flower cakes, they had absolutely beautiful cupcakes - I must admit I tried them and they not only look beautiful but taste great too! You can check it out at whiteflowercake.com! Awesome!
They even have an Apple store very close to where we are, so we're fine - as long as you have an Apple store, life is good! I love My Apple!
We're going to run to Target in a little while and then spend the afternoon with Manju, so that should make for a fun, relaxing afternoon! I'll hang out in her massage chair while we're there! They have all kinds of "free" things like reflexology, massage, etc.. So I think I'll schedule something relaxing for tomorrow after my surgery, treat myself! :-)
I'm trying to decide if I'm going to check out Pier One (it's next to Target) Tara and I are going to check out their Christmas decorations after I get home, but just in case they have a different selection here, need to make sure I don't miss anything I really "need" ha ha! Like I really need Christmas decorations, I've been collecting them sine I was a teenager, but as far as I'm concerned, you can never have too many :-)
Well, I'm going to sign off now, will try to post again later. Keep the prayers and love coming, it really helps! Thanks again for everything everyone has done, I'm being carried by angels thanks to all of you!
Remember, "Life's a Journey" and if w just go with the flow rather than trying to control it, it is much more enjoyable and fun! Besides, none of us has control over it anyway, we just try to tell ourselves we do!
Love to all, will keep you posted on what's happening!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
